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1069004_900


We live in a hyper-sexual world. There's no way to escape provocative images in media, news, television, film. We've become so saturated with provocation that many have become desensitized to it, and I believe this trend has caused a serious problem with human relations and the ability to experience pure intimacy with another. Such primal connections between a man and woman are necessary for survival on multiple levels, and the entire human race depends on them to a large extent. I'm not speaking only in the context of procreation, but also in the context of pure and positive emotions, energies and life forces free from superficial ties, as these things can rarely sustain relationships long term, or ensure that societies remain cohesive and progressive.

I've watched curiously over the years as my friends play online dating games, spinning like hamsters in a wheel at a frantic pace, moving from one partner to the next. Yet they go absolutely nowhere, stuck in the same cage of loneliness year after year. What does all of this dating and fucking get you in the end? For me, absolutely nothing but exhaustion, frustration and frayed nerves. So, I gave up on these games long ago, and have been in a celibate state for prolonged periods during various phases of life. Today I'll share some insight into the positive and negative aspects of this choice, which very few understand.Read more... )
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635963915405928574-1989711538_online-dating_broken-heart_58729801

There are many reasons why online dating doesn't work for me. For several years, I tried to play this game, with the only result being frayed nerves, aggravation and wasted time, with few positive results in return. Others apparently have more luck, or enjoy visiting this virtual zoo in search of one well-behaved, cute animal. My desire for male companionship or a relationship hasn't been strong enough the past few years to endure the negatives that come with this style of meeting men. Yet I remain on a few dating websites, and still receive all kinds of messages from men, most of which I ignore.

I don't ignore them because I'm some heartless bitch, but because the messages are so generic and impersonal that it's clear the man has taken absolutely no time to read my profile, or learn anything about my personality and the traits I desire in a romantic partner. Why do I want to waste time communicating with, or going on a date with a man like this - someone who merely flips through thousands of pictures of women online and sends the exact same email?

Perhaps I'm too demanding, but I want a man to first admire me for my personality and intellect, and it's for this precise reason that I have very plain photos of myself on online dating sites. Almost no make-up, hair up in a pony tail, or covered under a hat. I present myself as a "plain Jane" in the purest sense. Meanwhile, other women have professional glamour shots, exposed cleavage, all the classic bait to lure and hook men. I can't even imagine the amount of emails they receive as a result. But yesterday, a sort of miracle happened, and I received a unique and thoughtful message. I will reproduce it here, to provide general advice and guidance for men who are communicating with women online with the hope of getting a date, and eventually getting laid.Read more... )
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"Life observations suggest that a man in his lack of regular sex is nothing negative happens. The woman without sex fades, becomes dull, quarrelsome, uninteresting, as a withered flower. This is biology."

Just amazed at the endless words of patriarchal wisdom directed toward me in my blog. Almost always out of the blue, when I never asked for these gems of knowledge. However, this is the first time I've encountered a sofa biologist! I'm not sure what he means by "sex?" This term is ambiguous, and means different things to different people. Does it include making out, groping, oral...or only penetration?

A woman without orgasm can quickly become all of these things, on this point I agree. But let's remember, a man is not necessary to achieve this. There are other ways, trust me...Btw, almost never in my life have I achieved orgasm through classic penetration. It's nothing unusual for females, but of course many men think the sex they can offer a woman is exactly what she needs. Male ego - very strong, and it's necessary to humble it on occasion, especially here on RuNet.

There are many, many pathways to pleasure. On your own, or with a man. Selfish lovers - they are the absolute worst, and there's no room for them in my life. Someone becomes dull, withered and faded only if they're not a sexual being, and disconnected from their own body and sensuality. This is my view, and I can tell you it's quite possible to live without sex for many years, and still feel like a healthy, desirable and erotic being. On this topic, I'll write a post sometime.


Enjoy your May holidays and time off from work! :)

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1104840_900

There's a common sentiment among American women - romance and chivalry - both are dead! Buried many years ago, along with many dating customs of the past where men and women were forced to actually communicate with each other via spoken words and gestures, not through FB or text messages.

I don't consider myself a demanding female, but I don't like this modern form of "romance," where after a meeting a man will text something like - "Gr8 date." This is just a massive pet peeve of mine. If someone can't take the time to type two extra letters and form the word "Great" rather than using the letter "8", it somehow rubs me the wrong way. I know it's a very small thing, but we all have negative triggers in the opposite sex, and this is one of mine. :) I like words. Good ones are like vitamins for me, and I write a lot of them here in this blog, as you know.


In San Antonio, I came across this tragic scene. This is an American attempt at the famous love locks you see hanging all over European and Russian bridges. I rarely see them in the U.S., and what a negative reaction this stirred in me! No creativity or artistry with the locks. In fact, they look like chains, and being enslaved is not my idea of love. So, Russians and Europeans - you are far superior to Americans when it comes to creativity with these locks. Let's take a look at photographic evidence to support my thesis. :)Read more... )
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I_Can_t_I_m_Mormon_3_3ac60765-9149-411e-b1c7-ce59e13f5e9f

A Utah Senator recently declared a crisis in the State by introducing a new bill that describes porn as a public health risk that must be curbed to "protect our families and young people." The core essence of the bill is that porn is bad - very bad. You can read the full text of the bill here. In the Senator's view, porn "perpetuates a sexually toxic environment" and "is contributing to the hyper-sexualization of teens in our society." Basically, porn treats women as objects and commodities for the viewer's use, teaches young girls they are to be used, and condones men as the "users." In the Senator's mind, all of this porn culminates into an epic disaster because it lessens the desire of young Mormon men to marry, leads to dissatisfaction in marriage, and promotes infedility.

So what should Utah do about it? The Senator isn't trying to ban porn, but advocates for Utah to take steps to conduct more research to measure the detrimental impact all these sex videos and images cause to the mostly religious State, where over 60% of residents identify as Mormon. He pushes for education to curb and prevent addiction, and better policy making, but of course doesn't offer any concrete means to achieve these policy changes. What do I think?Read more... )
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Shannon2

There's a deep connection with the woods that began in early childhood. My parents frequently took me camping, and my sister and I spent a lot of summer weekends on the lake, sleeping in tents and chatting by bonfires on chilly evenings. It's an integral part of my childhood, and my love for this environment became even more intense in adulthood. It was in the forest that I lost my virginity, in a huge lake house sheltered by enormous trees with the enchanting, musty scent of campfires rolling through the open air and hills. I spent three days there, nestled by the fireplace in the arms of my first love, and I'm grateful that my transition into a sexual being was such a positive one emotionally, with a person I trusted and loved deeply, and not some drunk high school boy pulling my panties off in a closet at a wild party. After that, my boyfriend and I frequently visited local Civil War battlefields in my hometown of Manassas, Virginia in the middle of the night. We would spread a blanket on the hard ground, listen to the brittle leaves crunch beneath our weight, and lie there for hours chatting, making out and gazing at the night sky. To this day, I still love wandering through the forest in solitude or with a romantic partner, and find delight in the scent of campfire smoke which so deeply permeates clothing after a woodsy outdoor adventure.

Some of you commented on my new avatar, which comes from a recent photo shoot I did as a birthday gift for myself. I created a woodland fairy theme, but mother nature didn't cooperate on this day. We had below zero temperatures, with winds gusting over 30 knots! You can imagine the burning sensation on my totally exposed neck and arms, but it didn't bother me. The problem was that the photographer's hands kept getting numb, making it difficult to shoot. We got a few good frames, which I'll share with you.

Comments to the post are disabled for my mental sanity. I love these images, and don't wish to be criticized over every detail of my appearance  - "you're too thick", "your make-up is bad", "your smile is fake", "you have wrinkles!", "the editing is bad!"...the list of anticipated insults is endless. It's a favorite hobby of all Internet users, and especially LJ users, to dissect and critique the appearance of women, and I don't wish to deal with it today. If you don't like, don't look. I post the images for those who asked about them. Hope you enjoy! :)Read more... )
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resize

Size plays an integral role in the process of many things, and it's the foundation for many human insecurities. This becomes apparent if you ever work with or know a male who suffers from the very real psychological disorder known as "Napoleon complex" or "short man syndrome." I work with such a man in my law firm, who suffers with some severe insecurities due to his lack of stature. His aggressive personality is a complete nightmare!

Then, we have the stereotypical worries about penis size. These too are real, as I once dated a man on the small side and this issue came up frequently - from HIM, not me. But in Russia, Ukraine and other former Soviet bloc countries, it seems men must worry about the size of something else - the bouquet! :)) I've recently noticed a trend on Instagram where Russian women post photos of themselves with huge bouquets of flowers. I even read an article about the phenomenon entitled "
Russian Women with Shitloads of Flowers." :)  I think today is the most popular day for flowers in your region of the world, so it seems like a good time to discuss the topic.Read more... )
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Сегодня мое внимание вновь привлекла тема о невестах в "подарочной обертке". Сразу оговорюсь, что я никоим образом не собираюсь осуждать этих женщин, ведь они вольны распоряжаться своей жизнью, как им заблагорассудится. В сети есть сотни вебсайтов с глянцевыми фотографиями женщин из России, Украины и стран Восточной Европы, которыми объявлена тотальная охота на принцев закордонных. Носы же дельцов от туризма быстро просекли фишку и стали массово отправлять американцев за моря и акияны - на вечеринки со стайками потенциальных избранниц: все как одна - на ходулях, в боевой раскраске и в платьях, мало чем отличающихся от поясов. Ко всему прочему, общение с этими куколками в большинстве случаев весьма затруднено из-за языкового барьера. Одним из самых популярных сайтов подобной тематики является AnastasiaDate.com. Для начала я предлагаю вам полистать анкеты и фотографии с этого сайта, а также посмотреть короткий трейлер к документальному фильму про брачные агентства - "Люби меня".

Я решила поискать аналогичный сервис для американок, вожделенно ищущих своего русского царевича, но, увы и ах, успехом мои поиски так и не увенчались. Зато я нашла сайт для женихов из России, стремящихся стать единым целым с невестами из других стран. :) smile emoticonУвы, но это всего-навсего одна страница, на которой выбор русских парней ограничивается... количеством пальцев одной руки. Детали происхождения кого бы то ни было для меня мало что значат: я встречалась с украинцем, словаком и другими белыми мужчинами, а вот русский, с кем бы мне захотелось провести всю свою жизнь, мне так и не повстречался. Да и не могу я себе представить влюбленность в человека, с кем общаться пришлось бы на уровне "твоя-моя-мало-мало-понимать". Для мужины, наверное, такой вариант был бы идеальным: красивая и молчаливая жена! smile emoticon :) Для меня же одной из основ для взаимоотношений является возможность вдумчиво поговорить с умным человеком на множество тем о том и сем.

Интересно, почему американки не ищут русских возлюбленных с настойчивостью отправляющихся за тридевять земель, чтобы заманить невест в США, американцев? Мне кажется, что культурные различия во взаимоотношениях полов слишком разительны, возможно даже, что роман американки с русским вообще крайне маловероятен, хотя в любви, конечно, всякое может случиться...

Ведь должны же быть какие-то преимущества отношений с русскими парнями! О чем я не знаю? :))smile emoticon


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912661_900

In this photo, my ideal man! Rugged, a bit nerdy, kind, intelligent, good with his hands and incredibly creative. It's a rare combination, difficult to find in one human. Sadly, he lives very far away. Next week, I'll tell you about him and the town in which he lives. What do you think? Is he handsome? :) Of course, there's no single definition of a "real man." To define a man in only one way is sexist! :) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and sometimes sexual chemistry comes when you least expect it. However, since university, I've always been attracted to men like this, rather than macho personas or businessmen flashing money and fancy cars...Can you guess where he lives? Do you have a certain "type" of man or woman to which you're attracted?

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no-sex-tq

For a long time, I've wanted to write about this topic and explain why some women become celibate during certain periods in their life. Sometimes this is a conscious choice, and other times it happens unexpectedly as a defensive measure, out of fear of intimacy or being hurt when a relationship sours and ends. I will share my own experience in a separate post, but I don't think most of my readers, who are male, will even remotely understand the psychology behind such a decision. So, I ask a quick question. What is the longest period of time you've gone without sex?
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marriage

Almost two years ago, I wrote a post with a question in the title "What is Love?" The post discussed a monumental Supreme Court decision in favor of gay rights, which granted Federal benefits to same-sex couples in States that recognized gay marriages. It was clear at the time that America's mentality on this issue had shifted dramatically in the last decade. Just moments ago, this was further confirmed when the U.S. Supreme Court issued one of the most anticipated decisions of this term. A monumental victory, holding that gay marriage will now be legal in EVERY U.S. State. The basic outcome of the decision is that States no longer have the authority to reserve marriage rights only to heterosexual couples.about the victory for love )
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feminism

Sometimes it seems the term "equality" is a dirty word for Russians. I can say for instance that many people crawl into the comments of certain stories and accuse me of being a "feminist," simply because I haven't followed a traditional path in life. I don't subscribe to the formula that marriage + babies = happiness for women, although this is certainly true for many females. There are many factors to the equation, each individual is a unique being, and there will be different calculations throughout one's lifetime to reach the magical sum of "happiness." This appears to be a radical concept for a lot of Russians, who are programmed to see things only in black or white. I was reminded of this fact when someone recently described the content of my blog as being filled with "feminist bullshit." It's a strange comment and characterization of my blog, most likely written by a miserable, bitter person who is simply jealous that I have a lot of freedom, experiences and adventures in life. Envy is a very dangerous poison!Read more... )
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Over the past few days, I've received several messages inquiring how my date went. It went well, and there will be another. :) Overall, he left a favorable impression and I will tell you why.how to impress me :) )
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pic1

What surprised me most when I first became a blogger on LJ? All the "experts" who offered unsolicited advice about my psychiatric state, providing a full analysis about how I must be miserable and lonely being a single and childless woman at age 42!  Apparently a lot of part-time therapists read LJ blogs. :) This phenomenon is much more targeted to female bloggers. I rarely see anyone writing comments in the journals of male bloggers questioning why they're not married by a certain age, why they don't have children or critiquing their weight and overall attractiveness level.

However, today, I specifically ask for your advice. :) Recently, I have a sudden and strong desire for male companionship and sex. Despite many bad experiences in the past, I signed up for an online dating site yet again. In general, I'm mostly contacted by very young men (early 20's), or old men (in their 60's)! While age is not really important to me, there are some limitations. First, the guy must be legal such that I'm not arrested for hopping into bed with him. :) In most States, the legal age for consensual sex is 18. Second, the man must be mobile, with the ability to move a lot and not be tied to a demanding career or profession where he spends most waking moments behind a desk or computer screen. To me, an adventurous and open spirit is the most important quality in a companion. Last night, I opened my email and received a message from this smiling guy, age 35, a Foreign Service Officer by profession. Ah, intriguing....Read more... )
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fat-women-4944

American women are the worst females in the world. We're fat, ugly, have no sense of style and typically behave as man beasts. We like to gorge ourselves on fatty foods and alcohol, but have no idea how to cook. Our idea of a nice dinner for a man is carry-out from a local restaurant, or throwing something in the microwave. All femininity is lost in the quest for our careers and we constantly emasculate men with our demands for equality. These are the musings of a famous pick-up artist named "Roosh V", who grew up very close to me in Maryland. Now Roosh is a master blogger, creating such genius and noteworthy posts like "As the Pussy Turns," even publishing a book entitled "Bang," which instructs men how to get laid in various parts of the world. His favorite location is Eastern Europe, more specifically Estonia, Ukraine, Moldova, Russia...But, his favorite hobby is discussing and dissecting every trait of the horrid American female, like in this video. For those too lazy to watch it, I'll summarize his main points about why American women deserve no attention from men:Read more... )
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Merry Christmas! None of my Russian friends celebrate this day, and how about you? I arrived at my desk this morning, opened LJ and read this funny post. I'm passing it along for all the single, lonely ladies in America. Maybe you're desperate for a Russian man? After all, we have no options here - all American men are stupid and gay! :)) I don't know what "кончиттывурст" means and online translation doesn't work for the term. What is the English equivalent? Honestly, I can't tell if some posts in the pora_valit community are serious, or subtle trolling/sarcasm? I rarely understand Russian humor.

Perhaps this is a new way to fund my travels? :) Marry foreigners desperate for U.S. citizenship in exchange for payment? What do you think? :)) A reader today asked me to write a post about the differences between American and Russian women,  but I don't know many Russian females, so I can't provide an informed opinion on the topic. All of my close Russian friends are men. Maybe some of my readers now living in the U.S. wish to provide insight?

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] dr_ionych at Хочу свалить из Рашки в США с помощью женщины
Я вот что решил.Мне не место в России. Надоело здесь все, ну, в общем, вы понимаете.
Однако, сильно напрягаться ради поравалить я не готов и поэтому придумал небольшой план.

Я хочу свалить в США, познакомившись с русскоязычной американкой. Как известно, США давно загнились, мужиков там толковых нет, одни кончиттывурст и геи. А женщинам одиноко. В общем, план понятен.

Вопрос: где знакомиться с гражданками США? И что в практическом плане дадут отношения с женщиной-резидентом? Ну, там ВНЖ или еще чего.
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prisoners

Criminal psychology is a fascinating area of study, at least to me. This week, news spread that 79 year old Charles Manson filed for a marriage certificate to marry "Star," a 25 year old woman from Illinois. She was only 16 when she first discovered Manson on the Internet and immediately became attracted to his environmental philosophy, at least that's the story she tells the press. They speak almost every day on the phone, and she's permitted to visit him on weekends. However, conjugal visits are prohibited, so technically sex is not permissible unless they find creative ways to engage in the act without security guards noticing. Entirely possible! People are always finding clever ways to engage in sex in public places or under tight scrutiny.

I started thinking recently about what rights the most evil and heinous prisoners like Manson should have. Should he be allowed to marry? Have sexual visits with his soon to be wife? Some American prisoners have access to TVs, Internet and books on occasion. The most notorious of killers receive thousands of emails from women interested in pursuing romantic relationships with them. What makes a woman attracted to such a person? I can't understand it, maybe there are some psychologists amongst my readers who can explain? As you can see, Manson's soon to be wife is not some ugly duckling. She's quite attractive and well spoken, yet drawn to a prisoner who committed some of the most horrific murders in American history. Future husband with a swastika tattooed on his forehead? Apparently it's attractive to at least one person. You can hear her explain the relationship in this interview.

I know nothing about the Russian prison system, or how inmates are treated there. What rights do you think prisoners should have? Internet, TV, books, privacy for sexual relations if they're married or have a girlfriend? I'm torn on this subject, not sure how I feel...
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woman

Moscow, October 2013. I saw her standing there, in her modest dress and muted colors. A simple splash of color and fashion with the bracelets draped around her wrist. An angelic, natural and beautiful face, free from the make-up brush that so many Russian women love. Dark, chestnut hair flowing down her back. She seemed deep in thought, perhaps enchanted by the music that echoed in her earphones. Maybe the tune reminded her of a past lover or some far-away place. But in an instant all the beauty faded...Read more... )
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sugar

Last night, I was wide awake in the middle of the night watching a news special about "SugarDaddies." This is a common phrase in English to describe men who buy expensive gifts for beautiful women, usually much younger, in exchange for "companionship." The women are called "SugarBabies." I think the Russian word for this type of man is "papic," but I'm not sure. In most cases, it's nice jewelry or clothes. Some men are more generous, buying apartments and fancy cars for the women, or paying for their college education. There's a whole website dedicated to this dating theme - http://sugardaddie.com/. Some of the women claim they merely go to dinner or hang out with the men, with no sex involved. We also have an American site for hot women who want to travel the world, and are looking for men to pay for their journeys. A sort of "fuck for vacation" scheme. Look here at the MissTravel dating site https://www.misstravel.com/. Hmm...tempting! :)

In all honesty, I don't understand how these women are any different than prostitutes. Sure, they're not standing on street corners but they're selling their body and sex appeal in exchange for financial rewards. It seems like a very vain and selfish existence to me. People are free to live as they wish, and I believe all forms of prostitution should be 100% legal and regulated. With the advent of the Internet and widespread usage of dating sites like these now, I think the definition of "prostitution" has expanded to include more than old school street walkers.

I know my opinion is in the minority, but I could never be in this sort of relationship, where a man pays for absolutely everything, and my only value is to be attached to his arm, looking pretty. Probably because my parents raised my sister and me to be very self-sufficient. Constant amazement that some men are so seduced by beauty that they're willing to pay thousands of dollars each week for it. What do you think? Are these women engaged in a more socially acceptable form of prostitution? Do you support legalization of the oldest profession in the world? 
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couple

Last week many Americans were in an uproar when a religious speaker offered dating advice to students in a Texas high school. The speaker, known for his conservative Christian views, made the statement that dateable women "know how to shut up." You can read about his speech in this article, but here are some highlights on what makes men and women "dateable" in the speaker's view:

(1) Dateable girls don't monopolize the conversation. They don't tell everything about themselves....she doesn't imagine things to be more than they are.
(2) Dateable girls don't tease. They don't show men hot little bodies and then tell them they can't touch.
(3) Dateable girls let guys be leaders and do guy things like getting a door or opening a ketchup bottle.
(4) "Men of God are wild, not domesticated. They don't live by the rules of the opposite sex. They fight battles, conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed." [My note: HOORAY! Wild, man beasts saving the oppressed! This is the most absurd statement he makes.]
(5) Dateable guys know that porn is bad for the spirit and the mind. They keep women covered up.

His main advice to women - "first thing you need to understand is that guys are going to lie to you to get what they want and what they want is sex. The end."

What do I think about this?
Read more... )

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