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I don't know how foreigners perceive the "typical American woman." However, three times this week, I have been called this.

Stereotypes - they are very damaging in many cases, and must be quashed. We are all influenced by stereotypes on some level, but I really try to erase them from memory when traveling, forming impressions based only on pure experience. Most recently, I can say it about Georgia - where everyone warned me about all kinds of things, when in reality I encountered almost none of the horrors mentioned. In the end, we are responsible for the company we keep. You have the choice to surround yourself with good, positive and uplifting...or, you can run wild with the animals in the zoo.

Most people using this phrase - "typical American woman" have never even met, or had any real experience with an American woman. Therein lies the problem...that is all I really want to say for today. :)
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It's very strange for a foreigner to see this statement repeated over and over again in the Russian blogosphere. It's like some type of brainwashing or programming in the minds of men and women there - that "ours" are simply the best, most beautiful! Almost all of my friends are men, many from different countries, and I have not heard any other male make such a proclamation that "Italian women are the best!", "American women are the best!", "German women are the best!"...nope, only Russians say this.

I see another post today on this topic, but there is never a discussion of WHY. In all my travels there, I didn't notice any high ratio of beauties in comparison to other countries in which I've traveled. Of course, "beauty" - it's such a subjective term that it seems almost pointless to discuss the theme with the masses. But I really wonder - why are Russian women "the best"? For what reasons...enlighten me. :)

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We live in a hyper-sexual world. There's no way to escape provocative images in media, news, television, film. We've become so saturated with provocation that many have become desensitized to it, and I believe this trend has caused a serious problem with human relations and the ability to experience pure intimacy with another. Such primal connections between a man and woman are necessary for survival on multiple levels, and the entire human race depends on them to a large extent. I'm not speaking only in the context of procreation, but also in the context of pure and positive emotions, energies and life forces free from superficial ties, as these things can rarely sustain relationships long term, or ensure that societies remain cohesive and progressive.

I've watched curiously over the years as my friends play online dating games, spinning like hamsters in a wheel at a frantic pace, moving from one partner to the next. Yet they go absolutely nowhere, stuck in the same cage of loneliness year after year. What does all of this dating and fucking get you in the end? For me, absolutely nothing but exhaustion, frustration and frayed nerves. So, I gave up on these games long ago, and have been in a celibate state for prolonged periods during various phases of life. Today I'll share some insight into the positive and negative aspects of this choice, which very few understand.Read more... )
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There are many reasons why online dating doesn't work for me. For several years, I tried to play this game, with the only result being frayed nerves, aggravation and wasted time, with few positive results in return. Others apparently have more luck, or enjoy visiting this virtual zoo in search of one well-behaved, cute animal. My desire for male companionship or a relationship hasn't been strong enough the past few years to endure the negatives that come with this style of meeting men. Yet I remain on a few dating websites, and still receive all kinds of messages from men, most of which I ignore.

I don't ignore them because I'm some heartless bitch, but because the messages are so generic and impersonal that it's clear the man has taken absolutely no time to read my profile, or learn anything about my personality and the traits I desire in a romantic partner. Why do I want to waste time communicating with, or going on a date with a man like this - someone who merely flips through thousands of pictures of women online and sends the exact same email?

Perhaps I'm too demanding, but I want a man to first admire me for my personality and intellect, and it's for this precise reason that I have very plain photos of myself on online dating sites. Almost no make-up, hair up in a pony tail, or covered under a hat. I present myself as a "plain Jane" in the purest sense. Meanwhile, other women have professional glamour shots, exposed cleavage, all the classic bait to lure and hook men. I can't even imagine the amount of emails they receive as a result. But yesterday, a sort of miracle happened, and I received a unique and thoughtful message. I will reproduce it here, to provide general advice and guidance for men who are communicating with women online with the hope of getting a date, and eventually getting laid.Read more... )
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truck

During my school years, I was constantly indoctrinated with pro-life agendas. Abortion - one of the greatest mortal sins a woman can commit, and an overall stain on society that females have the right to legally terminate pregnancies without the consent of the "father." I once even wore a t-shirt in support of this movement and went to the annual March for Life rallies that occur each year in Washington, DC.

Then, I grew up, and realized shit happens. There are many complications and difficult decisions humans must face throughout their lifetimes, often tied to love, sex and family relationships. Any commuter in the Washington, DC area has seen this truck numerous times. It sits parked on various city streets with all kinds of extreme right-winged and religious rhetoric plastered all over it, but the owner's main platform and objective in life is to reverse Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that legalized abortions in America. The decision was rendered in 1973 - the year I was born.

To advocate this platform, the truck is decorated with images of aborted fetuses, human tissue, and photos of women plagued with guilt and regret over their decision to abort. And each time I pass this truck, as this morning, I anxiously hope the driver will be sitting in it. Because I would pull over in a heartbeat and engage this man in conversation to understand more about the foundation for his positions and beliefs. I think it would certainly be the debate of my lifetime. :) But, alas, now I simply must look at these graphic images each morning at 6 a.m. when I'm pulling into my office garage, and think about his other favorite slogans - "Jesus Wept" and "Jesus Saves."
Read more... )
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"Life observations suggest that a man in his lack of regular sex is nothing negative happens. The woman without sex fades, becomes dull, quarrelsome, uninteresting, as a withered flower. This is biology."

Just amazed at the endless words of patriarchal wisdom directed toward me in my blog. Almost always out of the blue, when I never asked for these gems of knowledge. However, this is the first time I've encountered a sofa biologist! I'm not sure what he means by "sex?" This term is ambiguous, and means different things to different people. Does it include making out, groping, oral...or only penetration?

A woman without orgasm can quickly become all of these things, on this point I agree. But let's remember, a man is not necessary to achieve this. There are other ways, trust me...Btw, almost never in my life have I achieved orgasm through classic penetration. It's nothing unusual for females, but of course many men think the sex they can offer a woman is exactly what she needs. Male ego - very strong, and it's necessary to humble it on occasion, especially here on RuNet.

There are many, many pathways to pleasure. On your own, or with a man. Selfish lovers - they are the absolute worst, and there's no room for them in my life. Someone becomes dull, withered and faded only if they're not a sexual being, and disconnected from their own body and sensuality. This is my view, and I can tell you it's quite possible to live without sex for many years, and still feel like a healthy, desirable and erotic being. On this topic, I'll write a post sometime.


Enjoy your May holidays and time off from work! :)

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There's a common sentiment among American women - romance and chivalry - both are dead! Buried many years ago, along with many dating customs of the past where men and women were forced to actually communicate with each other via spoken words and gestures, not through FB or text messages.

I don't consider myself a demanding female, but I don't like this modern form of "romance," where after a meeting a man will text something like - "Gr8 date." This is just a massive pet peeve of mine. If someone can't take the time to type two extra letters and form the word "Great" rather than using the letter "8", it somehow rubs me the wrong way. I know it's a very small thing, but we all have negative triggers in the opposite sex, and this is one of mine. :) I like words. Good ones are like vitamins for me, and I write a lot of them here in this blog, as you know.


In San Antonio, I came across this tragic scene. This is an American attempt at the famous love locks you see hanging all over European and Russian bridges. I rarely see them in the U.S., and what a negative reaction this stirred in me! No creativity or artistry with the locks. In fact, they look like chains, and being enslaved is not my idea of love. So, Russians and Europeans - you are far superior to Americans when it comes to creativity with these locks. Let's take a look at photographic evidence to support my thesis. :)Read more... )
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A Utah Senator recently declared a crisis in the State by introducing a new bill that describes porn as a public health risk that must be curbed to "protect our families and young people." The core essence of the bill is that porn is bad - very bad. You can read the full text of the bill here. In the Senator's view, porn "perpetuates a sexually toxic environment" and "is contributing to the hyper-sexualization of teens in our society." Basically, porn treats women as objects and commodities for the viewer's use, teaches young girls they are to be used, and condones men as the "users." In the Senator's mind, all of this porn culminates into an epic disaster because it lessens the desire of young Mormon men to marry, leads to dissatisfaction in marriage, and promotes infedility.

So what should Utah do about it? The Senator isn't trying to ban porn, but advocates for Utah to take steps to conduct more research to measure the detrimental impact all these sex videos and images cause to the mostly religious State, where over 60% of residents identify as Mormon. He pushes for education to curb and prevent addiction, and better policy making, but of course doesn't offer any concrete means to achieve these policy changes. What do I think?Read more... )
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resize

Size plays an integral role in the process of many things, and it's the foundation for many human insecurities. This becomes apparent if you ever work with or know a male who suffers from the very real psychological disorder known as "Napoleon complex" or "short man syndrome." I work with such a man in my law firm, who suffers with some severe insecurities due to his lack of stature. His aggressive personality is a complete nightmare!

Then, we have the stereotypical worries about penis size. These too are real, as I once dated a man on the small side and this issue came up frequently - from HIM, not me. But in Russia, Ukraine and other former Soviet bloc countries, it seems men must worry about the size of something else - the bouquet! :)) I've recently noticed a trend on Instagram where Russian women post photos of themselves with huge bouquets of flowers. I even read an article about the phenomenon entitled "
Russian Women with Shitloads of Flowers." :)  I think today is the most popular day for flowers in your region of the world, so it seems like a good time to discuss the topic.Read more... )
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photo

I often hear the phrase that "people are the same everywhere." This is true to a certain extent, but there are cultural deviations which make the world an interesting place to explore. If we are all the same no matter the country of origin, with identical societal behaviors and customs, there would never be a reason to leave home in search of enlightenment or exposure to something different. Based on personal experience, and being a female American writer in a predominantly male dominated Russian blogging platform, I can attest that mentalities and societal expectations are different, and this is particularly true when it comes to gender relations and demands.

Nothing confuses me more than to receive misogynistic or judgmental emails directed toward my physical appearance, clothing choices, or childless lifestyle. If the primary topic of my blog was fitness, fashion or something related to superficial concepts, then I would expect to be judged in such a manner, but this is not the case. I try to be a different type of female writer here - to focus on thought provoking topics and force people to think outside the box. I spend a lot of time writing texts and choosing words carefully, rather than simply posting half-nude selfies from the gym mirror all day as many of the popular female bloggers do. I think this narcissism is a real poison in today's society.

Why am I writing about this? Because it was necessary to remove yesterday's post, which was probably too personal in nature. I began to receive aggressive and angry emails from some male readers when I truthfully said that I live quite happily without a man. Why do I need to read such abusive and scary personal attacks from people who seem to be psychologically imbalanced? Yes, 90% of them are probably Internet trolls, but it's unsettling nonetheless. I love my readers, and almost every person who leaves a comment in this blog is a man, with rare exceptions. You're most often amusing and enlightening, but at times I simply shake my head in disbelief and frustration when we talk about the roles of women. For instance, look at this photo of one of the most popular American travel bloggers "Adventurous Kate", who journeys to all corners of the globe and writes about it in her blog. Can you imagine if such a photo appeared in LJ? There would be hundreds of comments telling her how ugly, fat and horrible she looks. Countless sofa experts would tell her how to eat, diagnose her health ailments, instruct her how to lose weight, dress better, fix her hair....Read more... )
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Сегодня мое внимание вновь привлекла тема о невестах в "подарочной обертке". Сразу оговорюсь, что я никоим образом не собираюсь осуждать этих женщин, ведь они вольны распоряжаться своей жизнью, как им заблагорассудится. В сети есть сотни вебсайтов с глянцевыми фотографиями женщин из России, Украины и стран Восточной Европы, которыми объявлена тотальная охота на принцев закордонных. Носы же дельцов от туризма быстро просекли фишку и стали массово отправлять американцев за моря и акияны - на вечеринки со стайками потенциальных избранниц: все как одна - на ходулях, в боевой раскраске и в платьях, мало чем отличающихся от поясов. Ко всему прочему, общение с этими куколками в большинстве случаев весьма затруднено из-за языкового барьера. Одним из самых популярных сайтов подобной тематики является AnastasiaDate.com. Для начала я предлагаю вам полистать анкеты и фотографии с этого сайта, а также посмотреть короткий трейлер к документальному фильму про брачные агентства - "Люби меня".

Я решила поискать аналогичный сервис для американок, вожделенно ищущих своего русского царевича, но, увы и ах, успехом мои поиски так и не увенчались. Зато я нашла сайт для женихов из России, стремящихся стать единым целым с невестами из других стран. :) smile emoticonУвы, но это всего-навсего одна страница, на которой выбор русских парней ограничивается... количеством пальцев одной руки. Детали происхождения кого бы то ни было для меня мало что значат: я встречалась с украинцем, словаком и другими белыми мужчинами, а вот русский, с кем бы мне захотелось провести всю свою жизнь, мне так и не повстречался. Да и не могу я себе представить влюбленность в человека, с кем общаться пришлось бы на уровне "твоя-моя-мало-мало-понимать". Для мужины, наверное, такой вариант был бы идеальным: красивая и молчаливая жена! smile emoticon :) Для меня же одной из основ для взаимоотношений является возможность вдумчиво поговорить с умным человеком на множество тем о том и сем.

Интересно, почему американки не ищут русских возлюбленных с настойчивостью отправляющихся за тридевять земель, чтобы заманить невест в США, американцев? Мне кажется, что культурные различия во взаимоотношениях полов слишком разительны, возможно даже, что роман американки с русским вообще крайне маловероятен, хотя в любви, конечно, всякое может случиться...

Ведь должны же быть какие-то преимущества отношений с русскими парнями! О чем я не знаю? :))smile emoticon


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put-the-toilet-seat-up

When you haven't lived with a man for a long time, you forget about their annoying habits. Now I live with not one, but TWO men! I have two male roommates and we share a bathroom. This creates household wars and horrors! The women in the house argue that the men should always put the toilet seat down after they pee. The men say "why!?!, just push it down when you need to sit!" What is the proper etiquette? :) Men, do you put the toilet seat down after you pee? I beg you to please do it if you share a bathroom with a woman. I can hardly describe the feeling of being half asleep, crawling out of a warm bed in the middle of the night, entering a dark bathroom and sitting down only to discover the toilet seat is up. Suddenly you fall into the bowl and your ass is splashed with cold water! Instant alarm clock! :)) It looks something like this....Read more... )
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In this photo, my ideal man! Rugged, a bit nerdy, kind, intelligent, good with his hands and incredibly creative. It's a rare combination, difficult to find in one human. Sadly, he lives very far away. Next week, I'll tell you about him and the town in which he lives. What do you think? Is he handsome? :) Of course, there's no single definition of a "real man." To define a man in only one way is sexist! :) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and sometimes sexual chemistry comes when you least expect it. However, since university, I've always been attracted to men like this, rather than macho personas or businessmen flashing money and fancy cars...Can you guess where he lives? Do you have a certain "type" of man or woman to which you're attracted?

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no-sex-tq

For a long time, I've wanted to write about this topic and explain why some women become celibate during certain periods in their life. Sometimes this is a conscious choice, and other times it happens unexpectedly as a defensive measure, out of fear of intimacy or being hurt when a relationship sours and ends. I will share my own experience in a separate post, but I don't think most of my readers, who are male, will even remotely understand the psychology behind such a decision. So, I ask a quick question. What is the longest period of time you've gone without sex?
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feminism

Sometimes it seems the term "equality" is a dirty word for Russians. I can say for instance that many people crawl into the comments of certain stories and accuse me of being a "feminist," simply because I haven't followed a traditional path in life. I don't subscribe to the formula that marriage + babies = happiness for women, although this is certainly true for many females. There are many factors to the equation, each individual is a unique being, and there will be different calculations throughout one's lifetime to reach the magical sum of "happiness." This appears to be a radical concept for a lot of Russians, who are programmed to see things only in black or white. I was reminded of this fact when someone recently described the content of my blog as being filled with "feminist bullshit." It's a strange comment and characterization of my blog, most likely written by a miserable, bitter person who is simply jealous that I have a lot of freedom, experiences and adventures in life. Envy is a very dangerous poison!Read more... )
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Over the past few days, I've received several messages inquiring how my date went. It went well, and there will be another. :) Overall, he left a favorable impression and I will tell you why.how to impress me :) )
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pic1

What surprised me most when I first became a blogger on LJ? All the "experts" who offered unsolicited advice about my psychiatric state, providing a full analysis about how I must be miserable and lonely being a single and childless woman at age 42!  Apparently a lot of part-time therapists read LJ blogs. :) This phenomenon is much more targeted to female bloggers. I rarely see anyone writing comments in the journals of male bloggers questioning why they're not married by a certain age, why they don't have children or critiquing their weight and overall attractiveness level.

However, today, I specifically ask for your advice. :) Recently, I have a sudden and strong desire for male companionship and sex. Despite many bad experiences in the past, I signed up for an online dating site yet again. In general, I'm mostly contacted by very young men (early 20's), or old men (in their 60's)! While age is not really important to me, there are some limitations. First, the guy must be legal such that I'm not arrested for hopping into bed with him. :) In most States, the legal age for consensual sex is 18. Second, the man must be mobile, with the ability to move a lot and not be tied to a demanding career or profession where he spends most waking moments behind a desk or computer screen. To me, an adventurous and open spirit is the most important quality in a companion. Last night, I opened my email and received a message from this smiling guy, age 35, a Foreign Service Officer by profession. Ah, intriguing....Read more... )
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fat-women-4944

American women are the worst females in the world. We're fat, ugly, have no sense of style and typically behave as man beasts. We like to gorge ourselves on fatty foods and alcohol, but have no idea how to cook. Our idea of a nice dinner for a man is carry-out from a local restaurant, or throwing something in the microwave. All femininity is lost in the quest for our careers and we constantly emasculate men with our demands for equality. These are the musings of a famous pick-up artist named "Roosh V", who grew up very close to me in Maryland. Now Roosh is a master blogger, creating such genius and noteworthy posts like "As the Pussy Turns," even publishing a book entitled "Bang," which instructs men how to get laid in various parts of the world. His favorite location is Eastern Europe, more specifically Estonia, Ukraine, Moldova, Russia...But, his favorite hobby is discussing and dissecting every trait of the horrid American female, like in this video. For those too lazy to watch it, I'll summarize his main points about why American women deserve no attention from men:Read more... )
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Merry Christmas! None of my Russian friends celebrate this day, and how about you? I arrived at my desk this morning, opened LJ and read this funny post. I'm passing it along for all the single, lonely ladies in America. Maybe you're desperate for a Russian man? After all, we have no options here - all American men are stupid and gay! :)) I don't know what "кончиттывурст" means and online translation doesn't work for the term. What is the English equivalent? Honestly, I can't tell if some posts in the pora_valit community are serious, or subtle trolling/sarcasm? I rarely understand Russian humor.

Perhaps this is a new way to fund my travels? :) Marry foreigners desperate for U.S. citizenship in exchange for payment? What do you think? :)) A reader today asked me to write a post about the differences between American and Russian women,  but I don't know many Russian females, so I can't provide an informed opinion on the topic. All of my close Russian friends are men. Maybe some of my readers now living in the U.S. wish to provide insight?

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] dr_ionych at Хочу свалить из Рашки в США с помощью женщины
Я вот что решил.Мне не место в России. Надоело здесь все, ну, в общем, вы понимаете.
Однако, сильно напрягаться ради поравалить я не готов и поэтому придумал небольшой план.

Я хочу свалить в США, познакомившись с русскоязычной американкой. Как известно, США давно загнились, мужиков там толковых нет, одни кончиттывурст и геи. А женщинам одиноко. В общем, план понятен.

Вопрос: где знакомиться с гражданками США? И что в практическом плане дадут отношения с женщиной-резидентом? Ну, там ВНЖ или еще чего.
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couple

Last week many Americans were in an uproar when a religious speaker offered dating advice to students in a Texas high school. The speaker, known for his conservative Christian views, made the statement that dateable women "know how to shut up." You can read about his speech in this article, but here are some highlights on what makes men and women "dateable" in the speaker's view:

(1) Dateable girls don't monopolize the conversation. They don't tell everything about themselves....she doesn't imagine things to be more than they are.
(2) Dateable girls don't tease. They don't show men hot little bodies and then tell them they can't touch.
(3) Dateable girls let guys be leaders and do guy things like getting a door or opening a ketchup bottle.
(4) "Men of God are wild, not domesticated. They don't live by the rules of the opposite sex. They fight battles, conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed." [My note: HOORAY! Wild, man beasts saving the oppressed! This is the most absurd statement he makes.]
(5) Dateable guys know that porn is bad for the spirit and the mind. They keep women covered up.

His main advice to women - "first thing you need to understand is that guys are going to lie to you to get what they want and what they want is sex. The end."

What do I think about this?
Read more... )

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