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There are some men on the planet who immediately consider women intellectually inferior, even before one word has been exchanged. I had this experience recently, and it really enraged on multiple levels. It reminded me also that I never wrote about my experience in Armenia, where I traveled for a few days in March.  Armenia is full of Armenians - and really no one else. It is a mono-ethnic culture, and this is apparent when you begin to roam the streets as a foreign woman. My hair at that time was lighter, almost blonde, and to my surprise this rendered me a sort of "exotic" creature in a way I have never experienced in any travels.

When I first visited the Caucasus' last October, I traveled all over Georgia with a man. Even in Tbilisi, I was almost always walking in the city with a native male. But in March, it was different. I hopped in the car with a Georgian woman, a real explorer by nature, and we took a road trip to Yerevan. Her appearance more closely resembles a European or American female. We are both "older" by regional standards - 44 and 32, and ordinary women, not dressed in any way to lure gazing eyes. I could hardly imagine the attention two foreign women would draw...on the road, at gas stations, through the border crossing, everywhere! The manner in which local men behaved can be described in one word - cavemen. :)Read more... )
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I don't know how foreigners perceive the "typical American woman." However, three times this week, I have been called this.

Stereotypes - they are very damaging in many cases, and must be quashed. We are all influenced by stereotypes on some level, but I really try to erase them from memory when traveling, forming impressions based only on pure experience. Most recently, I can say it about Georgia - where everyone warned me about all kinds of things, when in reality I encountered almost none of the horrors mentioned. In the end, we are responsible for the company we keep. You have the choice to surround yourself with good, positive and uplifting...or, you can run wild with the animals in the zoo.

Most people using this phrase - "typical American woman" have never even met, or had any real experience with an American woman. Therein lies the problem...that is all I really want to say for today. :)
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It's very strange for a foreigner to see this statement repeated over and over again in the Russian blogosphere. It's like some type of brainwashing or programming in the minds of men and women there - that "ours" are simply the best, most beautiful! Almost all of my friends are men, many from different countries, and I have not heard any other male make such a proclamation that "Italian women are the best!", "American women are the best!", "German women are the best!"...nope, only Russians say this.

I see another post today on this topic, but there is never a discussion of WHY. In all my travels there, I didn't notice any high ratio of beauties in comparison to other countries in which I've traveled. Of course, "beauty" - it's such a subjective term that it seems almost pointless to discuss the theme with the masses. But I really wonder - why are Russian women "the best"? For what reasons...enlighten me. :)

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We live in a hyper-sexual world. There's no way to escape provocative images in media, news, television, film. We've become so saturated with provocation that many have become desensitized to it, and I believe this trend has caused a serious problem with human relations and the ability to experience pure intimacy with another. Such primal connections between a man and woman are necessary for survival on multiple levels, and the entire human race depends on them to a large extent. I'm not speaking only in the context of procreation, but also in the context of pure and positive emotions, energies and life forces free from superficial ties, as these things can rarely sustain relationships long term, or ensure that societies remain cohesive and progressive.

I've watched curiously over the years as my friends play online dating games, spinning like hamsters in a wheel at a frantic pace, moving from one partner to the next. Yet they go absolutely nowhere, stuck in the same cage of loneliness year after year. What does all of this dating and fucking get you in the end? For me, absolutely nothing but exhaustion, frustration and frayed nerves. So, I gave up on these games long ago, and have been in a celibate state for prolonged periods during various phases of life. Today I'll share some insight into the positive and negative aspects of this choice, which very few understand.Read more... )
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There are many things my mother doesn't understand about me, but at the top of the list is the fact I often eat alone at restaurants, go to the movies by myself, and even hop in the car and go on long road journeys in various parts of the USA - all alone. To her, this is scary, odd, and beyond comprehension. It makes sense that someone who married her high school sweetheart at age 19, and has never really been away from him, would feel this way. I have another acquaintance who wanted to see an opera recently and was in desperate search for a date, but no prince came calling. So, she sat at home and whined rather than go it alone.

The reasons I dine alone are mostly practical. First, I'm on an entirely different schedule from the rest of my family and friends. No one is available to join, even if I desired the company. I'm eating my main meal of the day around 5pm, and everyone else is still at work during this time. When I'm too lazy to cook, I never hesitate to go to a local restaurant, request a table for one, and enjoy my meal. It's the same with travel or any other type of entertainment or adventure. At age 43, most of my friends are now married and busy with husbands and family, which means lesser time for friends like me. So, what's a woman to do? :)

I can't relate to those who miss out on so many experiences in life because they are scared of solitude. I once read an article that said if single women stop eating alone at restaurants, we will have no one to feel sorry for. :)

How about you? Do you eat alone, or feel sorry for a woman when you see her sitting all by her lonesome at a table? I think it's always good to have pleasurable company, or share life experiences with a delightful man or woman. However, as usual I'd rather be alone than settle for just "anyone" in my presence to fill space. By the way, I don't recall ever seeing a Russian woman sitting by herself in a restaurant during any of my visits. I'm not talking about cafes, but a proper restaurant where a hostess leads you to a table. I think the only place where I will not sit alone is on a bar stool, although this is certainly a fun social experiment based on past experience. 
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There are many reasons why online dating doesn't work for me. For several years, I tried to play this game, with the only result being frayed nerves, aggravation and wasted time, with few positive results in return. Others apparently have more luck, or enjoy visiting this virtual zoo in search of one well-behaved, cute animal. My desire for male companionship or a relationship hasn't been strong enough the past few years to endure the negatives that come with this style of meeting men. Yet I remain on a few dating websites, and still receive all kinds of messages from men, most of which I ignore.

I don't ignore them because I'm some heartless bitch, but because the messages are so generic and impersonal that it's clear the man has taken absolutely no time to read my profile, or learn anything about my personality and the traits I desire in a romantic partner. Why do I want to waste time communicating with, or going on a date with a man like this - someone who merely flips through thousands of pictures of women online and sends the exact same email?

Perhaps I'm too demanding, but I want a man to first admire me for my personality and intellect, and it's for this precise reason that I have very plain photos of myself on online dating sites. Almost no make-up, hair up in a pony tail, or covered under a hat. I present myself as a "plain Jane" in the purest sense. Meanwhile, other women have professional glamour shots, exposed cleavage, all the classic bait to lure and hook men. I can't even imagine the amount of emails they receive as a result. But yesterday, a sort of miracle happened, and I received a unique and thoughtful message. I will reproduce it here, to provide general advice and guidance for men who are communicating with women online with the hope of getting a date, and eventually getting laid.Read more... )
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During my school years, I was constantly indoctrinated with pro-life agendas. Abortion - one of the greatest mortal sins a woman can commit, and an overall stain on society that females have the right to legally terminate pregnancies without the consent of the "father." I once even wore a t-shirt in support of this movement and went to the annual March for Life rallies that occur each year in Washington, DC.

Then, I grew up, and realized shit happens. There are many complications and difficult decisions humans must face throughout their lifetimes, often tied to love, sex and family relationships. Any commuter in the Washington, DC area has seen this truck numerous times. It sits parked on various city streets with all kinds of extreme right-winged and religious rhetoric plastered all over it, but the owner's main platform and objective in life is to reverse Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that legalized abortions in America. The decision was rendered in 1973 - the year I was born.

To advocate this platform, the truck is decorated with images of aborted fetuses, human tissue, and photos of women plagued with guilt and regret over their decision to abort. And each time I pass this truck, as this morning, I anxiously hope the driver will be sitting in it. Because I would pull over in a heartbeat and engage this man in conversation to understand more about the foundation for his positions and beliefs. I think it would certainly be the debate of my lifetime. :) But, alas, now I simply must look at these graphic images each morning at 6 a.m. when I'm pulling into my office garage, and think about his other favorite slogans - "Jesus Wept" and "Jesus Saves."
Read more... )
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"Life observations suggest that a man in his lack of regular sex is nothing negative happens. The woman without sex fades, becomes dull, quarrelsome, uninteresting, as a withered flower. This is biology."

Just amazed at the endless words of patriarchal wisdom directed toward me in my blog. Almost always out of the blue, when I never asked for these gems of knowledge. However, this is the first time I've encountered a sofa biologist! I'm not sure what he means by "sex?" This term is ambiguous, and means different things to different people. Does it include making out, groping, oral...or only penetration?

A woman without orgasm can quickly become all of these things, on this point I agree. But let's remember, a man is not necessary to achieve this. There are other ways, trust me...Btw, almost never in my life have I achieved orgasm through classic penetration. It's nothing unusual for females, but of course many men think the sex they can offer a woman is exactly what she needs. Male ego - very strong, and it's necessary to humble it on occasion, especially here on RuNet.

There are many, many pathways to pleasure. On your own, or with a man. Selfish lovers - they are the absolute worst, and there's no room for them in my life. Someone becomes dull, withered and faded only if they're not a sexual being, and disconnected from their own body and sensuality. This is my view, and I can tell you it's quite possible to live without sex for many years, and still feel like a healthy, desirable and erotic being. On this topic, I'll write a post sometime.

Enjoy your May holidays and time off from work! :)

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There's a common sentiment among American women - romance and chivalry - both are dead! Buried many years ago, along with many dating customs of the past where men and women were forced to actually communicate with each other via spoken words and gestures, not through FB or text messages.

I don't consider myself a demanding female, but I don't like this modern form of "romance," where after a meeting a man will text something like - "Gr8 date." This is just a massive pet peeve of mine. If someone can't take the time to type two extra letters and form the word "Great" rather than using the letter "8", it somehow rubs me the wrong way. I know it's a very small thing, but we all have negative triggers in the opposite sex, and this is one of mine. :) I like words. Good ones are like vitamins for me, and I write a lot of them here in this blog, as you know.

In San Antonio, I came across this tragic scene. This is an American attempt at the famous love locks you see hanging all over European and Russian bridges. I rarely see them in the U.S., and what a negative reaction this stirred in me! No creativity or artistry with the locks. In fact, they look like chains, and being enslaved is not my idea of love. So, Russians and Europeans - you are far superior to Americans when it comes to creativity with these locks. Let's take a look at photographic evidence to support my thesis. :)Read more... )
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Please replace the word "MOVIE" with "FORUM", and by forum I mean the internet as a whole, and specifically LJ. Over the weekend, some self-loathing troll decided to invade my blog and leave all kinds of misogynistic comments, all written as "anonymous." I've never censored any type of criticism toward me here - people have openly insulted my looks, clothes, mentality, life choices, etc., and I tolerate it for two reasons: (1) people are entitled to their opinions; and (2) freedom of expression is the only way to have open and productive discussions, facilitate changes in mentality, and progress societies as a whole. But I will no longer permit blatant misogyny here, directed toward all women in general.

All anonymous comments are now banned. I previously allowed them, but only after I screened them first. I don't have time to weed through dozens of sexist comments to find a diamond in the rough. If you wish to communicate with me, you will have to register as an LJ user to leave comments moving forward. Of all the comments left the past few days, nothing infuriates me more than the following:Read more... )
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When we begin to compare ourselves to others, almost nothing good can come from it. There will always be someone we perceive as more beautiful, more intelligent, or more charismatic and accomplished. It took years for me to just accept who I am, which I think is a good, intelligent and compassionate human being. I don't read blogs about fashion because I really have no positive emotions toward this industry. Despite the mind tricks they play, I think one of the core foundations of this business is to make women feel inferior, not fantastic or worthy.

Almost all magazines or billboards depict glossy images of females with the most perfect genetics on the planet, sculpted bone structure, and often very unrealistic body frames. It's a fantasy world, and while I'm a dreamer, I prefer to live in reality in some cases, and appearance is one of them. I think people are most beautiful in their natural state, without all kinds of artificial painting and accessories. It somehow distorts the core essence of a being, and for me presents an added layer to peel back. I'm most attracted to humans in a more raw state, both physically and emotionally. Not those who hide behind fabricated illusions. Read more... )
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A Utah Senator recently declared a crisis in the State by introducing a new bill that describes porn as a public health risk that must be curbed to "protect our families and young people." The core essence of the bill is that porn is bad - very bad. You can read the full text of the bill here. In the Senator's view, porn "perpetuates a sexually toxic environment" and "is contributing to the hyper-sexualization of teens in our society." Basically, porn treats women as objects and commodities for the viewer's use, teaches young girls they are to be used, and condones men as the "users." In the Senator's mind, all of this porn culminates into an epic disaster because it lessens the desire of young Mormon men to marry, leads to dissatisfaction in marriage, and promotes infedility.

So what should Utah do about it? The Senator isn't trying to ban porn, but advocates for Utah to take steps to conduct more research to measure the detrimental impact all these sex videos and images cause to the mostly religious State, where over 60% of residents identify as Mormon. He pushes for education to curb and prevent addiction, and better policy making, but of course doesn't offer any concrete means to achieve these policy changes. What do I think?Read more... )
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There's a deep connection with the woods that began in early childhood. My parents frequently took me camping, and my sister and I spent a lot of summer weekends on the lake, sleeping in tents and chatting by bonfires on chilly evenings. It's an integral part of my childhood, and my love for this environment became even more intense in adulthood. It was in the forest that I lost my virginity, in a huge lake house sheltered by enormous trees with the enchanting, musty scent of campfires rolling through the open air and hills. I spent three days there, nestled by the fireplace in the arms of my first love, and I'm grateful that my transition into a sexual being was such a positive one emotionally, with a person I trusted and loved deeply, and not some drunk high school boy pulling my panties off in a closet at a wild party. After that, my boyfriend and I frequently visited local Civil War battlefields in my hometown of Manassas, Virginia in the middle of the night. We would spread a blanket on the hard ground, listen to the brittle leaves crunch beneath our weight, and lie there for hours chatting, making out and gazing at the night sky. To this day, I still love wandering through the forest in solitude or with a romantic partner, and find delight in the scent of campfire smoke which so deeply permeates clothing after a woodsy outdoor adventure.

Some of you commented on my new avatar, which comes from a recent photo shoot I did as a birthday gift for myself. I created a woodland fairy theme, but mother nature didn't cooperate on this day. We had below zero temperatures, with winds gusting over 30 knots! You can imagine the burning sensation on my totally exposed neck and arms, but it didn't bother me. The problem was that the photographer's hands kept getting numb, making it difficult to shoot. We got a few good frames, which I'll share with you.

Comments to the post are disabled for my mental sanity. I love these images, and don't wish to be criticized over every detail of my appearance  - "you're too thick", "your make-up is bad", "your smile is fake", "you have wrinkles!", "the editing is bad!"...the list of anticipated insults is endless. It's a favorite hobby of all Internet users, and especially LJ users, to dissect and critique the appearance of women, and I don't wish to deal with it today. If you don't like, don't look. I post the images for those who asked about them. Hope you enjoy! :)Read more... )
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Size plays an integral role in the process of many things, and it's the foundation for many human insecurities. This becomes apparent if you ever work with or know a male who suffers from the very real psychological disorder known as "Napoleon complex" or "short man syndrome." I work with such a man in my law firm, who suffers with some severe insecurities due to his lack of stature. His aggressive personality is a complete nightmare!

Then, we have the stereotypical worries about penis size. These too are real, as I once dated a man on the small side and this issue came up frequently - from HIM, not me. But in Russia, Ukraine and other former Soviet bloc countries, it seems men must worry about the size of something else - the bouquet! :)) I've recently noticed a trend on Instagram where Russian women post photos of themselves with huge bouquets of flowers. I even read an article about the phenomenon entitled "
Russian Women with Shitloads of Flowers." :)  I think today is the most popular day for flowers in your region of the world, so it seems like a good time to discuss the topic.Read more... )
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There are a handful of topics which always hang in TOP LJ. These issues are written about daily by numerous bloggers, including all the most popular female writers who pump out content and photos on the same theme almost every day. The most common on the list are stories related to female appearance, body image and mentality. I'm sorry, but I really can't understand how it's so interesting to the masses to sit and offer opinions about the way others look, why they dress a certain way, or render unsolicited medical advice on whether a woman is too thick or thin. I've never once seen the same type of analysis or criticism directed to men on LJ. Today I see yet another idiotic post hanging in the top, questioning why Western advertisers use photos of ordinary looking females, or rather what the blogger considers thickish and unsightly women with cellulite, in swimsuit advertising. The confusion is not surprising given that this blogger's journal consists almost entirely of provocative photos and images of herself, which suggests her entire identity and self-worth are tied to physical and superficial validation.

About beauty, weight, female body issues - perhaps these are interesting topics if a blogger actually takes the time to consider and discuss the psychological issues associated with the complex neuroses that almost all women suffer from at one point in their lives. For me, it happened in my early to mid-20's, so I can offer personal insight on the topic. So, tell me, do you really find it so interesting to discuss female bodies? If so, I can begin writing some posts about this topic, self-acceptance, bulimia, unrealistic societal expectations imposed by fashion industries....there are endless things to discuss. My own personal opinion is that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and forms. I honestly believe it, and the most simple thing is to understand that if one person finds something repulsive, another is probably jerking off or mad with envy over the same image...Diversity - this is what makes the world go round and saves us all from boredom. :)) Is this a topic of interest to readers? Let me know - yes or no. 
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I often hear the phrase that "people are the same everywhere." This is true to a certain extent, but there are cultural deviations which make the world an interesting place to explore. If we are all the same no matter the country of origin, with identical societal behaviors and customs, there would never be a reason to leave home in search of enlightenment or exposure to something different. Based on personal experience, and being a female American writer in a predominantly male dominated Russian blogging platform, I can attest that mentalities and societal expectations are different, and this is particularly true when it comes to gender relations and demands.

Nothing confuses me more than to receive misogynistic or judgmental emails directed toward my physical appearance, clothing choices, or childless lifestyle. If the primary topic of my blog was fitness, fashion or something related to superficial concepts, then I would expect to be judged in such a manner, but this is not the case. I try to be a different type of female writer here - to focus on thought provoking topics and force people to think outside the box. I spend a lot of time writing texts and choosing words carefully, rather than simply posting half-nude selfies from the gym mirror all day as many of the popular female bloggers do. I think this narcissism is a real poison in today's society.

Why am I writing about this? Because it was necessary to remove yesterday's post, which was probably too personal in nature. I began to receive aggressive and angry emails from some male readers when I truthfully said that I live quite happily without a man. Why do I need to read such abusive and scary personal attacks from people who seem to be psychologically imbalanced? Yes, 90% of them are probably Internet trolls, but it's unsettling nonetheless. I love my readers, and almost every person who leaves a comment in this blog is a man, with rare exceptions. You're most often amusing and enlightening, but at times I simply shake my head in disbelief and frustration when we talk about the roles of women. For instance, look at this photo of one of the most popular American travel bloggers "Adventurous Kate", who journeys to all corners of the globe and writes about it in her blog. Can you imagine if such a photo appeared in LJ? There would be hundreds of comments telling her how ugly, fat and horrible she looks. Countless sofa experts would tell her how to eat, diagnose her health ailments, instruct her how to lose weight, dress better, fix her hair....Read more... )
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Сегодня мое внимание вновь привлекла тема о невестах в "подарочной обертке". Сразу оговорюсь, что я никоим образом не собираюсь осуждать этих женщин, ведь они вольны распоряжаться своей жизнью, как им заблагорассудится. В сети есть сотни вебсайтов с глянцевыми фотографиями женщин из России, Украины и стран Восточной Европы, которыми объявлена тотальная охота на принцев закордонных. Носы же дельцов от туризма быстро просекли фишку и стали массово отправлять американцев за моря и акияны - на вечеринки со стайками потенциальных избранниц: все как одна - на ходулях, в боевой раскраске и в платьях, мало чем отличающихся от поясов. Ко всему прочему, общение с этими куколками в большинстве случаев весьма затруднено из-за языкового барьера. Одним из самых популярных сайтов подобной тематики является Для начала я предлагаю вам полистать анкеты и фотографии с этого сайта, а также посмотреть короткий трейлер к документальному фильму про брачные агентства - "Люби меня".

Я решила поискать аналогичный сервис для американок, вожделенно ищущих своего русского царевича, но, увы и ах, успехом мои поиски так и не увенчались. Зато я нашла сайт для женихов из России, стремящихся стать единым целым с невестами из других стран. :) smile emoticonУвы, но это всего-навсего одна страница, на которой выбор русских парней ограничивается... количеством пальцев одной руки. Детали происхождения кого бы то ни было для меня мало что значат: я встречалась с украинцем, словаком и другими белыми мужчинами, а вот русский, с кем бы мне захотелось провести всю свою жизнь, мне так и не повстречался. Да и не могу я себе представить влюбленность в человека, с кем общаться пришлось бы на уровне "твоя-моя-мало-мало-понимать". Для мужины, наверное, такой вариант был бы идеальным: красивая и молчаливая жена! smile emoticon :) Для меня же одной из основ для взаимоотношений является возможность вдумчиво поговорить с умным человеком на множество тем о том и сем.

Интересно, почему американки не ищут русских возлюбленных с настойчивостью отправляющихся за тридевять земель, чтобы заманить невест в США, американцев? Мне кажется, что культурные различия во взаимоотношениях полов слишком разительны, возможно даже, что роман американки с русским вообще крайне маловероятен, хотя в любви, конечно, всякое может случиться...

Ведь должны же быть какие-то преимущества отношений с русскими парнями! О чем я не знаю? :))smile emoticon

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When you haven't lived with a man for a long time, you forget about their annoying habits. Now I live with not one, but TWO men! I have two male roommates and we share a bathroom. This creates household wars and horrors! The women in the house argue that the men should always put the toilet seat down after they pee. The men say "why!?!, just push it down when you need to sit!" What is the proper etiquette? :) Men, do you put the toilet seat down after you pee? I beg you to please do it if you share a bathroom with a woman. I can hardly describe the feeling of being half asleep, crawling out of a warm bed in the middle of the night, entering a dark bathroom and sitting down only to discover the toilet seat is up. Suddenly you fall into the bowl and your ass is splashed with cold water! Instant alarm clock! :)) It looks something like this....Read more... )
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For a long time, I've wanted to write about this topic and explain why some women become celibate during certain periods in their life. Sometimes this is a conscious choice, and other times it happens unexpectedly as a defensive measure, out of fear of intimacy or being hurt when a relationship sours and ends. I will share my own experience in a separate post, but I don't think most of my readers, who are male, will even remotely understand the psychology behind such a decision. So, I ask a quick question. What is the longest period of time you've gone without sex?
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In the past few months, an invasion has occurred in the heart of Times Square. No, it's not terrorists or depressed stock brokers worried about the recent collapse of the financial markets. It's boobs! I sometimes wonder what it must be like to be a beautiful woman, with no marketable skills other than selling your body. Some busty and shapely immigrants have found a way to milk the millions of tourists who flock to Times Square to visit the constant carnival like circus. I have no idea why so many foreigners and Americans wish to visit this place. I've been there a few times, and there's absolutely no desire to return to this sea of humanity and colorful freak show.

The influx of near-naked women, collecting tips to pose for photos with tourists, has reached epic proportions this summer, and the Mayor and some local residents are angry. They wear only a thong, a thin layer of paint and a big smile. The going price for such a photo ranges from $10 - $20 and some parents are growing alarmed that these women are approaching their teenage boys on vacation. "It's child pornography!", screamed one mom I saw on the news. The police have little power in this situation because public nudity is legal in New York as long as it's part of a "performance." What do you think?Read more... )


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