Ha, I laughed out loud when I read your closing joke. I'm pretty sure a large cross-section of your Russian-speaking readers wouldn't mind seeing a tortured American. It reminds me of my university years here in Minsk. We have mandatory military service here in Belarus (they have it in Russia, too, as far as I know). It means that upon reaching 18 years of age all young men have to serve in the army for 2 years I think. If you enroll in university, you get a postponement until you graduate. Conditions of military service here are very rough: compared to the US military it's like a dilapidated concentration camp. So most recruits go out of their way to dodge it. I was extremely lucky because there was a military training department at my university that trained me to be a military translator and gave me the rank of a lieutenant, and that was my way of dodging active duty. Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is that a bunch of those military translation classes was dedicated to the interrogation of prisoners of war and they trained me to interrogate American POWs!