>Today the topic of mail-order brides came up again. I don't judge these women in any way. If they wish to sell their beauty in exchange for the prospect of a better life, it is their right to do so.
Ahem, this statement is utterly judgmental in itself. Not to mention, totally wrong way to look at it because of luck of understanding the phenomenon.
All most Russian mail-order brides (old term, today it's really meet-on-internet girls) do - is widen the partner search to the global scope. Exactly as you don't dream about spending time with russian groom - they don't either. Living in a small provincial f.ussr town and wanting a family - if you want to limit your search for partner to your immediate offline surrounding - you are f8cked, and not in a good way. They choice of prospective boyfriends is often limited to a bunch of men from local metal factory, most of whom, starting from age 18, are alcoholics. It's just how it is there. I worked summer on a factory when I was in school, and those men start drinking in a changing room at 10 am.
Even 20 years ago, there was no other choice other than picking the best of available crop, or moving to capital city. Where situation is a little better (but still very difficult to find a good reliable man). And to meet men, girls would go to bars, friends parties, walking backpacking trips with groups of people, dance lessons... Today - the smart women say no to what society is offering and expecting of them, and widen search to another countries. Instead of going to bars and dance lessons, they go on internet.
Due to many reasons, it's a surprisingly good match with situation in America, where for some reasons (I don't pretend to understand) men can't find reliable women to start a family. So they hookup on internet with foreign women...
Due to my origin and history - I know a LOT of those couples. There are some gold diggers, and "bad" girls, just like you'd meet here, but way more than half of them are great couples and loving families.
I can totally understand how that "sudden" competition from abroad can be seen in a negative way (even if subconsciously) by american women :)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2016-01-12 05:58 pm (UTC)Ahem, this statement is utterly judgmental in itself. Not to mention, totally wrong way to look at it because of luck of understanding the phenomenon.
All most Russian mail-order brides (old term, today it's really meet-on-internet girls) do - is widen the partner search to the global scope. Exactly as you don't dream about spending time with russian groom - they don't either. Living in a small provincial f.ussr town and wanting a family - if you want to limit your search for partner to your immediate offline surrounding - you are f8cked, and not in a good way. They choice of prospective boyfriends is often limited to a bunch of men from local metal factory, most of whom, starting from age 18, are alcoholics. It's just how it is there. I worked summer on a factory when I was in school, and those men start drinking in a changing room at 10 am.
Even 20 years ago, there was no other choice other than picking the best of available crop, or moving to capital city. Where situation is a little better (but still very difficult to find a good reliable man). And to meet men, girls would go to bars, friends parties, walking backpacking trips with groups of people, dance lessons... Today - the smart women say no to what society is offering and expecting of them, and widen search to another countries. Instead of going to bars and dance lessons, they go on internet.
Due to many reasons, it's a surprisingly good match with situation in America, where for some reasons (I don't pretend to understand) men can't find reliable women to start a family. So they hookup on internet with foreign women...
Due to my origin and history - I know a LOT of those couples. There are some gold diggers, and "bad" girls, just like you'd meet here, but way more than half of them are great couples and loving families.
I can totally understand how that "sudden" competition from abroad can be seen in a negative way (even if subconsciously) by american women :)