Russian parents - unique challenges

[peacetraveler22]

While editing photos from the last winter journey, I was reminded of a scene that plays out all over Russia in the brutal winter months. It doesn't matter where this photo was taken, because it's symbolic of almost every city I've driven through during all my visits to the country. Usually it's mothers struggling to push a stroller on unclear roads or sidewalks covered in snow, ice, and most often a combination of both. Or, they labor to carry a heavy stroller and child up or down steps in metro stations. I began to wonder whether the country in which you live matters when it comes to raising children?

I think so, for conditions everywhere aren't the same, though the motivation of any good parent around the globe is the well-being and development of their child. In the U.S., I rarely see situations like this and there are several reasons why. First, we're a lazy society, and elevators or escalators exist in almost all major shopping centers or transport hubs. Second, most people have cars, and aren't struggling to walk everywhere in bad weather conditions for basic chores or necessities in life. Outside of big cities, parking is rarely an issue, and even in big cities there are plenty of garages but you will pay a lot to park in them in places like Washington, DC (around $25/day), and in New York City the cost is even more astronomical. Finally, we're a heavily regulated society, with a lot of laws on both the Federal and State level.

What is the result of all these laws? There are personal burdens you must bear, or face some kind of consequence. In the U.S., store owners, and even home owners in certain residential areas, are required to clear sidewalks and pathways, otherwise they face fines. Similarly, local officials are under pressure from their constituents to have safe road conditions and timely plowing in the event of major storms. If they fuck up, they will be held accountable in most cases and face public outrage, or the loss of their position in the next election cycle. Yes, many Americans are whiners, and don't wish to struggle so much in daily life. First World problems, but also First World benefits because leaders are required to act, not merely exist and sit on their thrones. I already showed you how my sister's suburban neighborhood responded after a blizzard a few months ago. The post is here. We also frequently close major highways and roads when they become extremely hazardous due to ice or snow to prevent accidents and deaths.



I look at this photo and immediately panic due to the unsafe conditions. Imagine if the driver was irresponsible or drunk, coming up this hill at a high speed? The mother and her child are right in the pathway of danger. So, in my view, there are unique challenges to parenting in Russia, and all countries. For those in the U.S., you can share the frustrating challenges of raising children here.

The best parents are selfless, and play one of the most vital roles by raising intelligent, healthy and well-rounded humans who will contribute something positive to the world in the future. I've never once felt an obligation or desire to have this responsibility, and the reasons why are well-known to readers and documented here.

What do you think is the most challenging aspect of parenting?

P.S.: Yes, I know there are many wonderful and rewarding aspects of having children, but this post is about the challenges. Similarly, there are lots of pros to living child free. A personal decision, as all things in life.

Comments

[moskitow.livejournal.com]

You can add houses without elevators to this challenge. I used to live on the fourth floor......A child, a backpack, a stroller and bags with food up and down several times a day. Well, good thing was I didn't have to go to the gym and didn't have any problems with my weight!
I had many challenges here in America as well: no sidewalks in suburbs(that's how they solved the problem of fines for uncleared sidewalks!). Lots of junk food everywhere you go with your child. It was a disaster. Advertisement without any control whatsoever during kids programs on TV(and then your child is bombarding you with all the stuff she wants you to buy).That's why I've got rid of the television altogether!
Then in high school the big problem was drugs....
Never again....One child is my maximum. If I knew before, I would've been child free. Too late for this now :)

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

In my area, there are sidewalks in most suburbs. I guess it depends on where you live. :) Sure, advertisements are targeted based on the programming, so during kids shows they are promoting toys, games, etc. and during sports events they are promoting beer, cars... Isn't this a common marketing strategy in all countries? Now I live with my nephew for weeks at a time, and become so exhausted. :)) I have the best of both worlds - child free, but still surrounded by tons of kids, not bearing the ultimate responsibility for them. This arrangement works best for me.

[aborigen72.livejournal.com]

Специально создаём трудности,чтобы их преодолевать;))

[anlestr.livejournal.com]

Есль яндекс правильно перевел то, самое сложное в воспитании ребенка, не навязвть ему свой сценарий жизни. Дети не наша собственность. Мы как родители можем подготовить ребеночка к самостоятельной жизни, а не проживать жизнь за него, словно паразит. Но при этом важно сохранить близкие и теплые отношения! Это сожно, это не близко нашей культуре. Но такой баланс делает счастливыми и родителей и детей.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, otherwise most Russians are bored in life. Struggle is a foundation of their soul. :))

[Макс (from livejournal.com)]

o man, as far as I'm concerned most americans are idlers and liars. (I don't want to be rude, sorry me if it does) Just look at theyr streets after a blizzard.Usually they don't even try to clean them! They are waiting for when it melts! You can even see this in your own post about a blizzard. As for me I can't see there much efforts to clean the streets. People cleaned only their driveway.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Excuse me, and why do you think most Americans are "idlers and liars"? Probably most of the luxuries and tech systems and platforms you use were created by Americans. :)) I wrote my post during the blizzard, and even while the snow was falling, people in the neighborhood were cleaning it up, and there were plows on the streets.

[moskitow.livejournal.com]

When I lived in Russia back when they didn't have advertisement during kids shows (you can watch the whole cartoon with no breaks!) I don't know how it is now. Probably the same as here.
I've heard that in some countries it's regulated and in some - restricted(Sweden, Quebec and Norway). I agree with these countries, corporations shouldn't target kids.
I'm waiting to go see my family in Russia and play with my niece! I can spoil her rotten in two weeks and then give her back to her parents :)) Nice.....

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I also spoil my nephew. :)) Well, there are some restrictions in the USA. For instance, you can't advertise cigarettes on TV and many other forms of mass media. Heavily regulated, but I agree about the kids' shows. It's a nightmare, esp. at Christmas time!

[hiding88.livejournal.com]

Another stupid post writen for a cheap populatiry. No suplrise you are such a good friends with Macos)

[elksi.livejournal.com]

Its not about law or lazy society. It is russian tradition - to walk with pram for 3 hours every day. So they just choose new routs for walk, sometimes uncomfortable.

[perycalypsis.livejournal.com]

A case for Mulder and Scully
A young man from USA Colin Madsen - a student of one of the universities of Irkutsk - missing in the village of Arshan in Buryatia, not far from Baikal on 27 March.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Why is the post stupid? It's merely an observation from my travels, and there is no "yellow" title in the style of macos. :) Btw, I also want to say that for you such scenes are totally normal, but for an outsider they are still unusual and different. Every time I'm in Russia and see people walking in the middle of nowhere, or fragile old ladies trying to make their way down horrible sidewalks or streets, it still shocks me. You are just immune to it, because this is the environment in which you have become accustomed.

[ottonturk-g.livejournal.com]

lol. You should add an article about this problem in neighbour Canada!
I don't believe that all pedestrian roads are cleaned there.
But problem of Russia in bizzard and mug on the pedestrian in huge cities. It trust that fucking beaurocrats are driving by cars. They don't care whether pedestrians are well. There children also don't care it.
So i really want one day to see them all hanged.....
About the problem it is exaggerated: there are many north cities in the world in Finland and Canada Nunavut region where it is not possible to clean.
Cars are not so important like public transport, bycicles and medicine and emergency care help

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

In Canada, I was only in the Yukon Territory and it was not during winter months. In Russia, it's good to be an official, or holy person. :) Because most church areas and pathways are always cleared, for instance as I wrote about in Vologda. The rest of the sidewalks in the city area were covered in huge holes, snow, puddles, ice...but look at the churches. :))

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Didn't hear about it, but I'll research it online. I like such mysteries.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Walk 3 hours a day? And when do they work? :) No, it is also about laziness and not taking care of your surroundings.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Привет. :) Согласен!

[perycalypsis.livejournal.com]

From his vk dot com account: 'Incredibly shallow stupid lack of emotional equilibrium.' May it be a key?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're also a detective? :)) And what does this message mean? It is too vague. I took a quick look and see a lot of reports about his disappearance on U.S. news sites. I hope all turns out well, and there is no harm.

[voleala.livejournal.com]

O, yes! The country matters. Everyday I feel lucky that I raise my twin daughters in Southern California, specially when I think about my lj friends with twins also from Russia or other cold places and how they have to put layers and layers of clothes on their kids to take them out for a walk.
I have no complains.
So far, the most challenging aspect for me is the lack of sleep.

P.S. I totally respect (and understand) other people's decision to be child free.

[yermakoff.livejournal.com]

The gov. Prepares its citizens to win any war :))) mothers, kids, all - are prepared to become SWAT soldiers :))

Ofcourse it's a joke.

The issue is with layers of irresponsibility from minor local MP up to top of the governor.

Saying that - people agree to take and live thru these conditions by default as they dont even know that it can be different!

But I think it will change, but it wont take overnight. Decades and decades.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

There is little respect for the child free lifestyle here on LJ and RuNet, unless you happen to be a man. :)) Then, of course, it doesn't matter if you're older, single and child free. No one judges single, childless male bloggers in the same way they judge me. Thus, it's logical to conclude that for many sectors of Russian society, women are still expected to marry, pop out babies, and any other life choice is "abnormal", or seen as a waste of a woman's life. There are many ways to make positive contributions to the world - procreation is only one of them.

[perycalypsis.livejournal.com]

What do you think of the 'Cherchez la femme' case? Alike of the short story The Swedish Match by Anton Chekhov.

Привет. :) Согласен!

[montrealex.livejournal.com]

Wow!

Looks like you`ve switched your gender!

In Russian females usually answer "Согласнa"....