We can't relate to each other's personalities - they are almost polar opposites honestly. But, the main thing, is that you are pleased with yourself and content. It seems so. :) I'm never really in this vegetative state you describe. Even if I'm looking at the sunset, clouds, or some grand mountain landscape, I'm thinking poetic thoughts in my mind, or just in awe and grateful to be there. I mentally process such moments. I don't know how to live without feeling...it's a very cold and foreign existence in my view. I grew up in a loving family, we were always hugging each other, discussing things, sharing experiences....maybe this is the reason.