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[personal profile] peacetraveler22
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There are many reasons why online dating doesn't work for me. For several years, I tried to play this game, with the only result being frayed nerves, aggravation and wasted time, with few positive results in return. Others apparently have more luck, or enjoy visiting this virtual zoo in search of one well-behaved, cute animal. My desire for male companionship or a relationship hasn't been strong enough the past few years to endure the negatives that come with this style of meeting men. Yet I remain on a few dating websites, and still receive all kinds of messages from men, most of which I ignore.

I don't ignore them because I'm some heartless bitch, but because the messages are so generic and impersonal that it's clear the man has taken absolutely no time to read my profile, or learn anything about my personality and the traits I desire in a romantic partner. Why do I want to waste time communicating with, or going on a date with a man like this - someone who merely flips through thousands of pictures of women online and sends the exact same email?

Perhaps I'm too demanding, but I want a man to first admire me for my personality and intellect, and it's for this precise reason that I have very plain photos of myself on online dating sites. Almost no make-up, hair up in a pony tail, or covered under a hat. I present myself as a "plain Jane" in the purest sense. Meanwhile, other women have professional glamour shots, exposed cleavage, all the classic bait to lure and hook men. I can't even imagine the amount of emails they receive as a result. But yesterday, a sort of miracle happened, and I received a unique and thoughtful message. I will reproduce it here, to provide general advice and guidance for men who are communicating with women online with the hope of getting a date, and eventually getting laid.

Here is the message:

The last couple of years I have taken my annual vacation in Jackson Hole and Missoula, and I am originally from CT with a "college in Vermont" kicker.
I very much relate to and embrace the notion of letting go of material accumulation and corporate title chasing. In fact, I am currently considering what my next chapter might be, and some things on the table include buying an RV and becoming a travel writer, buying a small home in WY or outside Seattle and enjoying life in a 3D slice of nature, or even taking a sabbatical for a couple of months and traveling week by week to a list of my bucket list countries. Imagine what a first date it would be to get on a plane and explore a forest together somewhere in a Midwest mountain range! Have you seen Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Zoe Deschanel's character suggests a first date of taking off to Madagascar. I'm not suggesting that we take off on a first date like that. This is reality, and I recognize that it's prudent to wait for something like that until at least the third date. ;) In any case, I'd love to see more of your smile and to learn more about you. Until then, I will await your response by a windmill.

Warmly,
xxx


Why is this message good? First, because it's clear he read every word of my profile, which is long. Shocking, huh? :) Second, the man isn't an egoist, basically admitting he's at a sort of transitional point in life. Third, he mentions life in an RV - well, this is my dream really, and I don't even discuss it in my dating profile. Finally, the message is whimsical, especially the last line "I will await your response by a windwill." Yes, I like such lines, and they work one me. :))

That's it. To initially attract and keep the attention of a woman isn't so complicated, at least for someone like me. You simply must listen, take the time to understand something about me other than my breast size or other superficial attributes, and be patient because you will not get laid immediately. The last part is the kicker, because most men now are too impatient to wait for it, when they can simply flip through thousands of other glossy photos online and find at least one woman who will immediately spread her legs. Such is the way of the world now...the expectation of instant gratification, while offering almost nothing in return. And I need a man for something more than sex - almost any woman can get this instantly, if she so desires. In the end, words mean absolutely nothing if they are not followed by actions to support them.

Have you had luck with online dating? For me, there was only one good prospect, which I wrote about here. Otherwise, I prefer to move at a snail's pace, and meet men in a more organic and natural environment, where things develop over time, first starting with close friendship...this is the strongest foundation for a lasting relationship, in my humble opinion. :)

Good luck to all the single folks! :))

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