peacetraveler22: (Default)
peacetraveler22 ([personal profile] peacetraveler22) wrote2016-06-09 08:14 am
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My online dating tips for men

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There are many reasons why online dating doesn't work for me. For several years, I tried to play this game, with the only result being frayed nerves, aggravation and wasted time, with few positive results in return. Others apparently have more luck, or enjoy visiting this virtual zoo in search of one well-behaved, cute animal. My desire for male companionship or a relationship hasn't been strong enough the past few years to endure the negatives that come with this style of meeting men. Yet I remain on a few dating websites, and still receive all kinds of messages from men, most of which I ignore.

I don't ignore them because I'm some heartless bitch, but because the messages are so generic and impersonal that it's clear the man has taken absolutely no time to read my profile, or learn anything about my personality and the traits I desire in a romantic partner. Why do I want to waste time communicating with, or going on a date with a man like this - someone who merely flips through thousands of pictures of women online and sends the exact same email?

Perhaps I'm too demanding, but I want a man to first admire me for my personality and intellect, and it's for this precise reason that I have very plain photos of myself on online dating sites. Almost no make-up, hair up in a pony tail, or covered under a hat. I present myself as a "plain Jane" in the purest sense. Meanwhile, other women have professional glamour shots, exposed cleavage, all the classic bait to lure and hook men. I can't even imagine the amount of emails they receive as a result. But yesterday, a sort of miracle happened, and I received a unique and thoughtful message. I will reproduce it here, to provide general advice and guidance for men who are communicating with women online with the hope of getting a date, and eventually getting laid.

Here is the message:

The last couple of years I have taken my annual vacation in Jackson Hole and Missoula, and I am originally from CT with a "college in Vermont" kicker.
I very much relate to and embrace the notion of letting go of material accumulation and corporate title chasing. In fact, I am currently considering what my next chapter might be, and some things on the table include buying an RV and becoming a travel writer, buying a small home in WY or outside Seattle and enjoying life in a 3D slice of nature, or even taking a sabbatical for a couple of months and traveling week by week to a list of my bucket list countries. Imagine what a first date it would be to get on a plane and explore a forest together somewhere in a Midwest mountain range! Have you seen Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Zoe Deschanel's character suggests a first date of taking off to Madagascar. I'm not suggesting that we take off on a first date like that. This is reality, and I recognize that it's prudent to wait for something like that until at least the third date. ;) In any case, I'd love to see more of your smile and to learn more about you. Until then, I will await your response by a windmill.

Warmly,
xxx


Why is this message good? First, because it's clear he read every word of my profile, which is long. Shocking, huh? :) Second, the man isn't an egoist, basically admitting he's at a sort of transitional point in life. Third, he mentions life in an RV - well, this is my dream really, and I don't even discuss it in my dating profile. Finally, the message is whimsical, especially the last line "I will await your response by a windwill." Yes, I like such lines, and they work one me. :))

That's it. To initially attract and keep the attention of a woman isn't so complicated, at least for someone like me. You simply must listen, take the time to understand something about me other than my breast size or other superficial attributes, and be patient because you will not get laid immediately. The last part is the kicker, because most men now are too impatient to wait for it, when they can simply flip through thousands of other glossy photos online and find at least one woman who will immediately spread her legs. Such is the way of the world now...the expectation of instant gratification, while offering almost nothing in return. And I need a man for something more than sex - almost any woman can get this instantly, if she so desires. In the end, words mean absolutely nothing if they are not followed by actions to support them.

Have you had luck with online dating? For me, there was only one good prospect, which I wrote about here. Otherwise, I prefer to move at a snail's pace, and meet men in a more organic and natural environment, where things develop over time, first starting with close friendship...this is the strongest foundation for a lasting relationship, in my humble opinion. :)

Good luck to all the single folks! :))

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
You cannot speak for all men, and what they want. Just as I can't speak for all women. And how old are you? In your 20's?

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)
actually I can speak for all men. we all are the same. sometimes we're lying to women to those who want to be a person. ok. you're a person and i like you personally but it's not true. to hell with your personality if you don't have a decent body.
look how women think: man score = beauty + intelligence + .. + social status.
and look how men doing this: woman score: beauty * intelligence + .. + social status. If beauty is zero everything else is zero too!!!

actually I'm pretty old. you, engllish speakers, would say - I'm the over the hill man. a.. is it correct?

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
You are the naive one, not me. :)) Most women don't put beauty at the top of their score sheet, and for me social status isn't even part of the core equation. "Over the hill"...yes, it's a proper English slang expression. :)) It's a pity that you haven't evolved to appreciate something other than the superficial at your age.

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
O man, maybe I don't make myself clear, but I didn't say women put beauty at the top. Look "beauty + intelligence + .. + social status". From shift of places the sum doesn't change. Didn't you learn this rule in the high school?

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I did not date in high school, because I was surrounded by religious wackos. Only when I started college. :)) I already wrote about this before...I'm a total loner, introvert, and it takes some special type of man to attract and keep my attention, and I make no effort to find him. It has been this way for close to a decade, and it's totally ordinary for me to be alone. I know it's really hard for most humans to understand, but there is no lack for companionship or love due to my huge family and social circle. I'm delighted with myself, apparently. :)

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 02:01 pm (UTC)(link)
but we don't speak about you, you're awesome, no question. I tell you about men and how they're thinking. if you're not beautiful they never be interested in you, in the first place. If you are cool, they'll be trying different methods to get the only thing they need from you - your vagina. if they see you're thinking like you're a person, they be nice and tell you how your personality is important. but this is all bullshit. trust me.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)
:))) Okay. And I'm just curious, what do you offer a woman in return? Besides your ability to kiss her beautiful legs up and down until you get to the pot of gold? :)

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 02:14 pm (UTC)(link)
o yes. you're a real woman! the men think only about a beauty, and you, women, always think what men can offer you. but you know the answer - she got my personality of course. I kiss her legs, she fucks my mind. this is how the things work.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
What is the point of being in a relationship if you get absolutely nothing out of it? What you get, or want, varies. It could be financial support, sex, love, companionship, babies, emotional support...combo of all these things. Your personality must really be spectacular! :))) It's not surprising you're continually getting mind fucked by women, based on your selection criteria. :)

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
not women, my mind is fucked by the only woman many years in a row. we got married soon after i got to her legs.

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
o my, it sounds ambiguous after all these years. sometimes my mind is thinking that it has enough sex but my wife isn't.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
And you cheat on your wife, or it's enough to have only one beautiful woman to kiss and fuck?

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
actually she still excites me as a woman, in the first place. but if she doesn't, I anyway don't have time to mingle with another women at all. we have two children and they're perfect to prevent any cheating.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
At least you have some redeeming traits and qualities. :)

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
also i have no money for another woman ((

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 02:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Then find a woman who will pay for herself, although I certainly don't advocate cheating. Betrayal at the highest level, unless you're in some type of agreed "open" relationship.

[identity profile] maks j-fry (from livejournal.com) 2016-06-09 03:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't need another woman. I can buy some sex clothes put it on my wife and bob's your uncle! now she is as good as new and completely ready to new adventures. as a teacher or maybe as a doctor or a firefighter. recently I had her as an ukrainian extremist who is trying to blow up the crimean head quarters. I prevent her attack and made her to love russia.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2016-06-09 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
You never fail to amuse me! :)))