Table for one please!

[peacetraveler22]

There are many things my mother doesn't understand about me, but at the top of the list is the fact I often eat alone at restaurants, go to the movies by myself, and even hop in the car and go on long road journeys in various parts of the USA - all alone. To her, this is scary, odd, and beyond comprehension. It makes sense that someone who married her high school sweetheart at age 19, and has never really been away from him, would feel this way. I have another acquaintance who wanted to see an opera recently and was in desperate search for a date, but no prince came calling. So, she sat at home and whined rather than go it alone.

The reasons I dine alone are mostly practical. First, I'm on an entirely different schedule from the rest of my family and friends. No one is available to join, even if I desired the company. I'm eating my main meal of the day around 5pm, and everyone else is still at work during this time. When I'm too lazy to cook, I never hesitate to go to a local restaurant, request a table for one, and enjoy my meal. It's the same with travel or any other type of entertainment or adventure. At age 43, most of my friends are now married and busy with husbands and family, which means lesser time for friends like me. So, what's a woman to do? :)

I can't relate to those who miss out on so many experiences in life because they are scared of solitude. I once read an article that said if single women stop eating alone at restaurants, we will have no one to feel sorry for. :)

How about you? Do you eat alone, or feel sorry for a woman when you see her sitting all by her lonesome at a table? I think it's always good to have pleasurable company, or share life experiences with a delightful man or woman. However, as usual I'd rather be alone than settle for just "anyone" in my presence to fill space. By the way, I don't recall ever seeing a Russian woman sitting by herself in a restaurant during any of my visits. I'm not talking about cafes, but a proper restaurant where a hostess leads you to a table. I think the only place where I will not sit alone is on a bar stool, although this is certainly a fun social experiment based on past experience. 

Comments

[real-marsel.livejournal.com]

The text is delicious for a English learner! I copied it for detailed studing.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Glad you like it! And I'm pleased to know I help you with your English studies from afar. :)

[marcusxxx.livejournal.com]

I recognised myself in this post :) I live the same way - travel alone, eat alone etc. I don't feel sorry for a woman sitting alone in a restaurant because I understand her - she is comfortable being alone, but I'd rather order food delivery.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm comfortable being alone. For me, it is totally ordinary after so many years of being single. :) But I will be quite pleased if I ever encounter a decent man to join me on life's journey. Unfortunately, now that I don't live in the city, there are almost no delivery options except pizza and Chinese food. I dislike the latter, and try not to eat too much of the former. :) In the city, I could order from any restaurant and have it delivered straight to my apartment door.

[moskitow.livejournal.com]

I have a bf, a child and a cat and I still eat alone(sometimes) at the restaurants or go biking (not every human in my family can survive 28 miles on a bike), hiking and kayaking. I don't see anything wrong with it.
My mom is the same :) that's why we like each other's company so much! I don't go to the movies alone....because I like to watch them at home on Netflix. If I liked movie theaters I would go. My boyfriend can go alone without me if I don't want to watch something (I'm not crazy about movies made from comics books).
I wouldn't do it in Russia though (that's why I love America so much) because a single woman attracts too much of negative attention. At least that's how it was in the past. Maybe it changed already?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I don't think you can really compare the life of a single American woman with that of a single Russian woman - esp. if they are in their 30's or 40's. I think each society views them differently, quite honestly. This is why I'm constantly shocked and repulsed to see so many comments on RuNet calling women past age 25 old, worthless, etc. I've never once felt that way in America. Not in my 30's and not now in my early 40's.

[irisha8787.livejournal.com]

I usually eat at home, but when I fly to my company's headquarters for a week, I usually eat lunch and dinner by myself. It's fine, since it's more a necessity to eat than a leisure eating.

I also go to movies and museums by myself. Because I come to watch something, not really to talk.

I won't be traveling my myself though, especially since now I am married. Because I have only 10 days off a year, I would rather spend them with my husband.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

This makes sense. If I had a partner, then I'd probably want to spend vacations with him also. But even in past relationships, I needed a lot of alone time. This is just my personality type. I'm not a social creature by nature. :)

[theodorexxx.livejournal.com]

ah, those women issues

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

You have no issues as a man? :)

[manulul.livejournal.com]

I'm Russian and I often eat or go to the movies alone, never thought about it like that.
What's the difference? Is it harder to enjoy a movie or a meal with no one around?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, for many people it is harder or uncomfortable to sit alone in a restaurant, concert of movie. Some people need constant company, conversation, and are extroverts by nature.

[floamaldita.livejournal.com]

I do like to go to the movies by myself :) And it's always a great time! And I often eat somewhere outside alone. And it's absolutely ok for me. I think we need sometime to stay alone for a while. We are the people of the big cities :)

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I agree. For me, it's necessary to be alone often so I'm in tune with myself, without the incessant chatter of others clogging my mind. :)

[leo-sosnine.livejournal.com]

I do almost everything in full solitude. Except I hate people and traveling, so there are no things familiar to you on the list.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

You hate people? :) Then it's not surprising you do everything alone. I don't hate people, but the majority get on my nerves and I have no lasting connections with them. Yet I'm still friendly and can have short conversations with almost anyone, which comes in handy when traveling.

[voleala.livejournal.com]

I feel jealous. :) I miss those times when I travelled alone and eat alone at restaurants. However, I never mind a good (!) company for dinner. Specially , if I am a foreigner taken to a good restaurant by an aborigine. What do you think about those social dinning apps that set up you to dine with a stranger. I think they are not very popular.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Good company is always welcome! For me too. :) I didn't know such apps exist where you can find strangers to dine with. I use almost no apps, and this manner of meeting people is strange and uncomfortable for me. Same with online dating. :) I like when things develop organically, in the flesh, and you meet people in the ordinary course of life. However, there is a local place I eat at frequently and the only people there when I dine so early are senior citizens. So, I'm on a senior schedule, eating meals so early in the evening. :)) On occasion, I join these old men at their table, and it is always pleasant and enjoyable to hear their life stories.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

For me eating is like pumping gasoline :)
I do it alone without any problems.

Yes, women often go dining in groups, even if it's just an office cafeteria.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

There is another peculiar habit of my gender - in restaurants or clubs, many women go to the restroom in groups. Like a small wolf pack. Why? :))

[mybathroom.livejournal.com]

If it's your own choose why not?
As for me, unfortunate, in the present I forced to live alone almost half of the week. It's really hard.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

When you're used to being surrounded by a lot of energy, noise and action, it's hard for most people to revert back to solitude and complete quietness. Is this because of your new job?

[elena-88888.livejournal.com]

For me it depends on my mood and surrounding...
Sometimes I enjoy being alone, sometimes I need HIM or at least company etc...

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

This is normal. :) Everyone's mood shifts, changes, depending on life circumstances and other things. If I'm desperate for company, there is almost always someone around. This is the benefit of having a huge family. :)

[copengirl.livejournal.com]

I am a Russian girl (woman) who dines sometimes alone and who thinks that it is ok. Actually, I prefer going to the cinemas alone around let say 10 a.m. in hope that I will be there the only visitor. My reason is that while watching a movie (with only me inside) there is a good chance that not a single person would answer the phone, or make noises with a plastic bag or talk to the neighbor etc.
I like traveling alone, shopping by myself, do all the stuff that other people are afraid to do alone. I am not psycho:) I have a husband and a lot of friends, but I also like being by myself and then when I am old I will not be afraid of solitude, because I would know how to entertain myself.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Hmm, at what age does a female shift from a "girl" to a "woman"? Always wondered this. :) I think it's important to be comfortable enough with yourself that you can stand to be alone, and find ways to entertain yourself. Otherwise, there is a tendency to cling to unhealthy people, or situations, out of desperation. I've seen this many times with some of my friends...they would rather be with the wrong guy for a short period of time than sit at home alone. This is like a cycle, where you're constantly running in circles, getting nowhere.

[saccovanzetti.livejournal.com]

What is it like to sit alone on a bar stool?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

What do you think? As a woman sitting alone, it is sort of an open invitation to be approached by men, many of whom will be drunk and annoying. This is true even for a plain Jane like me, who typically dresses very modestly and wears little make-up. There are always exceptions though. The last time I sat alone at a bar was only a few months ago in San Antonio, and there I had an interesting conversation with a nice, intelligent man. Roll of the dice, take your chances. :))

[kornet-azarov.livejournal.com]

Such familiar story! Yep, same is with me :o)

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

There are many of us around the globe!

[sobaka-by.livejournal.com]

Woman eating alone is a good reason for get acquainted with her.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Sure, it's okay to approach a woman to get acquainted, but please respect her wishes if she indicates she prefers to dine alone. :) I'm always polite to men when they approach, and never behave rudely or as a bitch. Because this takes courage, and men still mostly bear the weight of initiating romantic relationships, even here in the U.S. It has always been the case with me, I've never made the first move on a guy, even if I was interested. Probably some unhealthy fear of rejection....yet, I will be the aggressor once the relationship is established, with no problem :)

[alira-air.livejournal.com]

I believe it is totally normal if you go alone, if you want to and there is noone at the moment to share your company/interest/trip/etc. My choice of going alone/doing smth by myself was because of the fact, that when I tried to organize at least a couple f friends to join me I ended up not going anywhere because they counldn't. After several tries I gave up and go where/when I would like to. Surprisingly, the less I care about being alone, the more peolple want to join and amend their plans to correspond to mine.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

For me, one of the main advantages of traveling with a companion is splitting costs. For instance, I'm getting ready to go to Montana and Alberta, Canada and hotels in both places are quite expensive. It would be nice to split the costs in half. Otherwise, I have absolutely no issues traveling by myself in places I feel safe. You have freedom, go at your own pace/schedule, and can set the exploration points. There is great value in that! :)

[juan-gandhi.livejournal.com]

That's how I ride my bicycle alone. Do it at my own pace, and have time to think about things.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I like to go the forest alone, take naps under beautiful trees, sit, think, stare at the sky, clouds, insects..:)

[kodak2004.livejournal.com]

Divorced, alone, and happy :)

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Are you now opposed to marriage after divorce, or open to it? The main thing - happiness. :) Glad you are there.

[la-chica-maria.livejournal.com]

After I moved to New York 2 years ago I feel absolutely fine eating by myself. Maybe not at the fanciest restaurant in the city but at a regular restaurant, cafe or diner. Also I'm ok with going to a bar by myself or watching a movie in a theater. The only thing I'm not comfortable with doing all alone is traveling. It's just kinda boring for me cause I'm more an extravert and want to share these moments with someone.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

In cities, it's totally normal. The area where I used to live was almost all young professionals with no children, and it was completely ordinary to see both men and women eating and doing other things alone. Here in suburbia, it's more unusual. :) Even if you travel alone, you can always meet interesting people along the way. Try it one time. :)

[kremlin-curant.livejournal.com]

>>> I think the only place where I will not sit alone is on a bar stool<<

This is exactly the place where I saw a lot of solitary women in Russia. So is in dance squares.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

If they are looking for a boyfriend or groom, then it's the best strategy. :) But this has never been a priority in my life.

[maryasha-b.livejournal.com]

I also don't have problems doing things alone: going to concerts, movies, traveling. I am doing less thing alone since got married. I did go to the bar once alone and it did feel awkward... Drinking beer kinda implied that you are talking to someone, but drinking alone in public wasn't fun and I felt sad for myself.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I think it's also unsafe for a woman to drink alone, esp. in a foreign country when you're not really accustomed to your surroundings. I never do it, and I was upset when my friend left me alone in a bar during one of my Russian visits.

[leo y (from livejournal.com)]

I often eat alone, either when I am home by myself, or when I travel. But, admittedly, it is easier for a guy. When I was in Saudi Arabia for work, restaurants were segregated into "singles" section for men only (alone or in a group) and "family" section, where women could only be accompanied by a close male relative. And each table in the family section was curtained off, so that, God forbid, someone else could not see your wife or sister without a veil!:) Fast food places only had "singles" section. I remember a veiled woman patiently sitting in a closed car with windows up in a 100 degree heat with the engine off, while the husband was chatting away with his buddies at Dunkin Donuts!

Russia is not too far off. A non-foreign woman dining by herself could be mistaken for a prostitute in the 1990s.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, many things are easier for men in life. :) About women in Saudi Arabia, I can't even fathom this existence honestly. What do you mean "singles" section in fast food? This is one country in the world I have absolutely no desire to visit in my lifetime.

[margo-de-mtl.livejournal.com]

In my early 20s, it didn't even occur to me that it could be OK to travel alone. I was always looking for company and if I couldn't find anyone to join me, I would simply not go. Isn't it stupid? What a waste of time!!! Now I actually prefer traveling alone - no need to compromise, I'm my own boss:) But traveling with someone is fun too if you enjoy the same things.

As for the movies, sometimes I have to go alone. I have no choice - I'm a horror fan, not too many people share my passion:) Last time I was actually alone in a movie theater. It was both scary and awesome.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's stupid when people cannot travel alone, as everyone has different personalities and needs. I can say about my mom that she can't stand silence, or being alone in the house. She is a very social creature, craving constant conversation, etc. In any restaurant, store, or public place she will always start talking to strangers. :)) And I relish in silence, and a lot of personal space. I also am not a fan of horror films, though I love creepy, true crime shows, books and stories. :))

[alena-nvkz.livejournal.com]

I like to be alone. I'm an introvert. But I don't like travelling efforts and cares so I prefer to stay at home and watch shows over the Internet, whenever such an option available. I usually eat alone. When I meet with a delightful person, I don't eat. Food distracts me from a dialogue. If we meet in some café or pub, I order some drink only. The drink prevents throat drying. When I see someone sitting alone, I don't bother.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I've never heard that food distracts someone from dialogue, so I think this is rather unique. :) With my family and friends, food is a very social thing. We constantly have cook-outs, barbecues, pot luck gatherings where everyone brings a homemade dish to the meal....in the same way drinking alcohol is social for some people. But I rarely drink now. :)