peacetraveler22: (Default)
peacetraveler22 ([personal profile] peacetraveler22) wrote2015-02-05 12:17 pm

Секс в США - Harassment in the American Workplace

office

About five years ago, a hot Ukrainian lifeguard started working at my apartment pool. I was in my mid-30's at the time, and he was only 18. Yet one day he swam up to me, flashed his charming smile, and we chatted for a very long time. I think he had absolutely no clue how old I was, but it didn't really matter. We instantly had great and deep conversations, about a wide range of topics, and remain close friends to this day.

I remember vividly something he told me about his lifeguard training before he arrived to the USA to participate in the work/travel program. The instructors informed the male lifeguards that American women are different, that sexual harassment laws in the U.S. are strict, and that a man can easily be convicted for flirtatious advances that would be considered ordinary and acceptable in other cultures. I don't know where all this paranoia comes from, but I want to explain briefly how sexual harassment laws work in America. Because the instructors were totally wrong. The most important lesson for the day - don't be afraid to talk to an American woman, compliment her, flirt with her, or ask her out....trust me, you will not be jailed for such actions. :))

First, sexual harassment laws mostly protect women and men in the workplace, not every day life situations. There are both Federal and State laws. In general, there are two types of sexual harassment actionable under U.S. law: (1) "quid pro quo" - this is an offer from a supervisor to receive a promotion, higher salary, or career advancement in exchange for sexual favors, or a threat of demotion if the subordinate refuses his advances; (2) "hostile work environment" - this is the more popular ground for a sexual harassment lawsuit. Women sometimes complain their work environment is "hostile" because the boss is a goat, jerk, looks at her in a sexual way, etc.

However, mere allegations of this type of behavior will never be enough to prevail in a sexual harassment lawsuit in America. The standard of proof for the Plaintiff is very, very high, and evidence must be documented and ongoing. In other words, the behavior must usually be repetitive to win a sexual harassment lawsuit. Victims need to have written documentation, witnesses, and sometimes even psychological reports to verify the impact the harassment has had on them. Without this, it's unlikely any judge or jury will find the person's work environment to be "hostile." Of course, strange cases always slip through the cracks and judges and juries sometimes get it wrong.


"Quid pro quo" is much easier to prove if there is written documentation. Obviously, if your boss is stupid enough to send an email or leave a voice mail message saying something like "fuck me, and you'll get the promotion..." he is pretty much screwed. And not in the way he wishes. :)

The public misunderstands the high burden on a person to prove sexual harassment. It takes a lot to convince a judge or jury that an employer's conduct transcended ordinary office nastiness or flirtation into illegal harassment. The Supreme Court once held that these laws are not a "general civility code for the American workplace." They are meant to protect people from flagrant and obvious violations by superiors.

Before I became a lawyer, I worked at a big law firm as a receptionist. How many jerks did I have to deal with? A lot. Numerous businessmen would come to the front desk to check in for meetings, comment on me and my co-workers physical appearance, even say things like "nice tits", etc. Did I drag each of them into court? No. :) Mostly because I don't care if men make these remarks in passing. I simply ignore them, but if they continued for a long period of time, or the men routinely touched me in an inappropriate manner, I would file a complaint with my employer. I assume it's the same in Russia? I doubt it's acceptable for a boss to be touching a woman's ass, stroking her hair or making suggestive comments in the workplace. And the same for a female boss behaving sexually toward a male subordinate.

A reader recently sent me a story about a Russian born scientist who came to work at an American university. He met a young, beautiful subordinate and instantly fell in love with her. He asked her out several times, and she refused. In total, he made four verbal attempts to date her. After this rejection, the scientist wrote the young beauty a letter, documenting his intense feelings and begging again for a relationship with her. The letter was the last straw - she went to the university Chancellor and complained of sexual harassment. She indicated she was nervous and uncomfortable around the scientist after she refused his advances. In an article about this case, the author portrayed this woman as a "bitch," claiming she was only trying to get money from the university, and that the scientist was totally "innocent" in his actions. What do you think? Is the scientist's behavior sexual harassment?

o-PROFESSOR-ROBERT-AMMON-JR-FIRED-facebook

In the U.S., many sexual harassment cases are brought and immediately thrown out of court. It's a pity that people abuse the laws, causing a lot of burden, wasted resources and money for employers, who are obligated to investigate the seriousness of such claims.

In real life dating and gender relations, these claims aren't relevant. You can't take a man to court for flirting with you, asking you out, staring at your boobs or ass, or even making inappropriate remarks. If someone grabs you, or touches you, I guess you could file a claim for assault or battery and maybe prevail. This doesn't mean an American woman won't smack you or yell at you for such actions. :) Over the years, many States have also enacted "stalker" laws to protect women and men from extreme cases of unwanted pursuit.

How does it work in Russia? Are there laws to protect against sexual harassment? Have you had any experience with naughty bosses or professors?


[identity profile] juliette-ss.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Я никогда не видела и не слышала о домогательствах , ни одного неприличного замечания не было сделано в мой адрес. Спрашивать , как я выгляжу, не нужно - я выгляжу хорошо. Работаю в банке

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
You think only beautiful women are harassed? :) It can happen to any one - fat, skinny, average appearance...

[identity profile] juliette-ss.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
No , not at all, and of course I don't consider myself extraordinarily beautiful))
Only anticipate comments if I'd ever looked in the mirror

[identity profile] z80.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, just recalled an old video 'Sexual harassment rules' or something, that boils down to 'Be attractive. Don't be unattractive " :-D

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
You anticipate the reaction of Russian readers well. :) If you say you aren't harassed, they will automatically assume you're ugly. You're right, this is typical RuNet logic. :)) In fact, I sometimes think women who are less attractive are harassed more often because the abusers feel more comfortable in their actions, or they're less threatened the women will actually report them.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
What do you mean the bosses are under attacked by Moscow beauties? :) What do they demand from the boss?

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
It's torture to sit through these sexual harassment lectures at work! But we all have to do it, at least in my office. When you're hired, this is part of training. Be a good boy or girl, and don't molest or make sexual comments about co-workers. :)

[identity profile] oblomius.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Because the instructors were totally wrong. The most important lesson for the day - don't be afraid to talk to an American woman, compliment her, flirt with her, or ask her out....trust me, you will not be jailed for such actions. :))
-
Like))

[identity profile] juan-gandhi.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Russia... I better not talk about Russia. There's no notion of respect towards other people. It's a dangerous place for anybody that does not have enough power to effecitvely resist. Violence is the argument.

But aside from that; what's funny, cultures vary. In US culture, repeating the same invitation twice is enough; the third one amounts to harassment. In Chinese culture, a girl should refuse thrice (like the brindle cat that mewed); so there's some kind of deadlock. (I do not find it frustrating, just funny.)

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
American women aren't so scary...everyone portrays us wrong. :(

[identity profile] mybathroom.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I know no one who had experience with naughty bosses or professors. But once my known told me how he took advantage of women then he was a security at a factory. Women stole production and he caught them. So it was they payment.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
One reader once told me that the behavior of the Russian scientist would be considered "romantic" by some Russian men. Here's her comment:

"In America, no means no. It's the biggest point of misunderstanding, a typical Russian man's philosophy is "if a woman says 'no', it means "may be'". But this is likely to scare or anger a typical American woman..." I don't know if this reader's comment is an accurate perception or exaggeration?

[identity profile] capitan-blood.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Что бы не было проблем у нас в России, есть специальные сайты, где можно найти офисный персонал с "дополнительными обязанностями".

Можно поискать в гугле "секретарша с дополнительными обязанностями" и никакого херассмента.

[identity profile] moonrainbow.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
You made me relieved. :)

In the old times - before I ever entered the US for the first time - I was sometimes wondering if I could get a sexual harrassment lawsuit by helping the lady to keep the door open while she goes through. :) Even though I am (almost!) certain now that it is not going to happen, I still feel I need to be extremely restrained in the US. You've got a reputation for a country, can't change it so easily.

It seems it is pretty much the same prejudice as all that stuff about "long legged secretary girls" in Russia. As with the sexual harrassment laws, the cases like that seem to be more told about than actually happen. There are policies in large companies about this as well. But clearly, in small businesses, specifically related to model, music and arts. a girl would get such sort of "offers" much more often than in big technological or banking business that I know better.
Edited 2015-02-05 18:25 (UTC)

[identity profile] a-nimaida.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
remembered Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky))

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes! :) But that relationship was consensual. She was in love with him.

[identity profile] marcusxxx.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't women like when a man touches them the way it is shown in the picture above?
))))))))))))))))

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course! :) But only if this touching is consensual, not being done by some aggressive maniac to which you aren't attracted.

[identity profile] moonrainbow.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
This is indeed common to think that for a woman, "no" means "maybe" - that suggests you need to continue siege with more pressure, and she will be yours. That doesn't work well, but this is still a very common belief. :)

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Interesting...however, I can't imagine that a Russian man would ever claim he's being sexually harassed by a female. It seems their egos and masculinity are too inflated for this to happen. In America, some men have filed sexual harassment suits against female bosses, but it's not so common.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, all men have this "hunter" mentality...it doesn't matter from which country they originate. :) But I think American men give up more easily.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Sex = no jail?

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
It's amazing that foreign men truly believe they could be sued for simply opening a door for an American woman, or complimenting her. :( It is not true...that's why I wrote this post. I think it's the same in America about the stories being "told" rather than actually happening. Because some women and men are evil - they use these threats and lawsuits to "shakedown" a big company for money, etc. They usually aren't successful, but the company still has to spend money on lawyer bills to defend themselves. This is the problem.

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
What "additional responsibilities?" Show me an example please.

Re: How does it work in Russia?

[identity profile] peacetraveler22.livejournal.com 2015-02-05 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
If you can't reject sexual advances and keep your job, then there's something very wrong with the Russian legal system.

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