Parental rights of rapists

[peacetraveler22]

Accusations of the crime can destroy a man's life, career or future, but in cases where rape is proven there still exists some horrible dichotomy in U.S. laws when it comes to parental rights. I'm not a criminal defense lawyer, and have never handled a rape case in my legal career, though I've worked in the family courts on child custody, support and visitation cases. All I can say about the family court system in the U.S. is that it's a complete clusterfuck. There are no other words. Here you see the most vile aspects of human behavior - jealousy, greed and hate, with an innocent child being batted around as a ball and strategic object in the process. It's depressing to say the least, and I could never do this work full time because it's too emotionally draining. Last night, I read an interesting article that discussed the parental rights of rapists. Should they have custody and visitation rights? It was then that I learned about the status of U.S. laws on this issue, which vary by State.

To put the issue in context, you can read about Jaime Melendez, who raped and impregnated a 14 year old girl in Massachusetts. He pled guilty, was sentenced to lengthy probation, and was ordered to pay child support. Then he created an evil plan in his mind to avoid the payments. He demanded visitation rights to the child born as a result of the rape, and offered to drop his demand if he no longer had to pay child support. This manipulative behavior is totally legal under the laws of the subject States.

Or you can take the example of a North Carolina woman who became pregnant as the result of rape and placed the baby up for adoption. To complete the adoption process, she was required to get permission from the father, her accused rapist. At the time, he was in jail awaiting trial for rape. He told the mother he would agree to the adoption if she didn't testify against him at the trial. So, she was left with a desperate choice - protect society from a sexual predator, or protect the adoption. The law provided no answer in this case.

Take a look at the Chart, which summarizes the current laws.



Currently, 31 States allow accused rapists to sue for rights to the child. However, after a trial and conviction, it becomes easier for a Judge to terminate, or limit, parental rights. Of course, a large number of women who become pregnant after a rape abort the child, but for some victims this isn't an option due to religious or moral grounds. In such situations, some rape victims are forced to consult their assailants on matters like school choices and healthcare. Accordingly, a woman's decision to keep the child can bring years of manipulation, harassment and intimidation from the rapist, not to mention the emotional and psychological impact of constantly dealing with the man who perpetrated the attack.

Rape - it is a very complicated issue, in both a legal and moral sense. It's almost always a "he said" vs. "she said" battle, where the truth is nearly impossible to ascertain, with the exception of cases where the assault was brutal and there is evidence of violent physical harm to genital or other sexual areas of the body.

I know nothing about the status of rape laws in Russia, or the rights of a male rapist who becomes a father as a result of the ciminal act in the country. What do you think? Should rapists have any parental rights?

Comments

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

Then there is no reason to be married if you don't have guaranties (maybe not in _any_ particular moment but in general).
The financial and emotional burden of marriage is big enough to want something in return - a new state of a married man when you have your own woman.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

You seriously receive enjoyment when you know your wife is against sex at a particular moment, but you force it on her anyway?

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

It's not so much enjoyment and I try not to push but humbly asking and holding breath waiting for an answer is not in my style :)

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I'd really like to meet and speak with your wife. :)

Can't help commenting on this...

[mb-b.livejournal.com]

‘If I could speak with him,’ the prisoner suddenly said, musingly, ‘I’m sure he’d change sharply.’
‘I don’t suppose,’ Pilate responded, ‘that you’d bring much joy to the legate of the legion if you decided to talk with any of his officers or soldiers. Anyhow, it’s also not going to happen, fortunately for everyone, and I will be the first to see to it.’

Mikhail Bulgakov, 'The Master and Margarita'

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

And think of it from a man's perspective.
What is the reason to be married with no rights, no power, no stability and no guaranties.

[3as7.livejournal.com]

To enjoy being with your wife, to support and love her, to be happy together. Or is marriage only about sex?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

From a man's perspective? Well, I think most people marry for the same reason, regardless of gender. It is the most symbolic form of commitment, because they want to start a family and have kids, and hopefully because they love the other person. However, for me personally I see no reason to be married. I don't want kids, and commitment can be shown by simply living together, and acting as a married couple with no contractual obligations. Btw, do you find it emasculating when a woman gives instructions in bed? Just curious.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

Instructions can be different.
If a woman says how I can please her better that's absolutely fine. I'd be happy to learn.
But if chatting breaks the state and the process it is not ok.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Finally you have said something sensible! :))

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

I'm very sensible.
Probably the most sensible man you can find :))

And this is why I am against dumb ideologically charged slogans and for returning back to reality.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Btw, if we think of marriage from a "woman's perspective", what is the reason to do it? Why does a woman really needed to be married, esp. if she does not want children?

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

Sure, there's no reason. But read further,

Look at it form the theory of systems point of view.
Sorry but my further text will look more like a computer program with if-then-else.

Marriage is originally an institution to protect women and children (and for men to be sure that children he supports are his children).
Nowadays, if a woman can survive without marriage she does not need it.

But there is a trap here.
Sometimes women can survive but they need to work full day and have no time and energy to have children (even though most women want them).

If women have no children or just one child then the population shrinks.
For example: four grandparents, two parents and just one my son. Six to one ratio. The same for your family.

Shrinking population is not good for the society. It's better to have it stable or slightly growing.

So, the society must take some measures to protect itself.
Ultimately people should be persuaded to:
1. start families and have children.
OR
2. there should be a way to raise children safely without families.

If we choose option 1 then we need to select measures.
They can be stimulating or restrictive measures to form proper behaviour in citizens.
This may require elements of a traditional society.

If we choose option 2 then we need to have very good communal child care.
This may require a socialist or even communist society and also it should be proven that it's safe for a child mind to be raised this way.

Summary. Now we've got a problem but no solution at all.

[3as7.livejournal.com]

Slavery is outlawed in Russia and the US. So there is no such thing as your own woman.

Would you force sex on her when she is in the hospital, for instance, or when she has caught cold? Would you force sex when she is just tired?
If your wife doesn't want you, then is it possible that you should try to change yourself? Like take care of your body, go to gym, learn to do the foreplay, take care of her, be cleaner, and so on.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

"
Would you force sex on her when she is in the hospital, for instance, or when she has caught cold? Would you force sex when she is just tired?
"

Of course not.

[3as7.livejournal.com]

Then learn what she likes in bed, shape up your body in the gym, and she will want you more. And you will have a better quality (and more frequent) sex.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

Man, I practice Qigong and Tantra.
I probably know about man-woman interaction much more than you.
I don't want frequent sex per se.
I want that sex leads me and my wife to deeper meditation states.

[3as7.livejournal.com]

Ok, so you are into obscure stuff. That could be a turn-off for your wife.

Nevertheless, tantra has other meditation practices apart from maithuna. Try using them yourself.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

I have used them all myself and continue to do so :))
The key is to "cut your head" stop your mind.
All this Western, especiall feminist, crap only increases unnecessary thinking instead of decreasing it.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

"
Like take care of your body, go to gym, learn to do the foreplay, take care of her, be cleaner, and so on.
"

All of this is necessary, absolutely.

But this is a principal question.
Would you start a business when you are a co-owner but have only obligations but no rights? Certainly not.
Sex is (and always was from the beginning of time) a part of the informal contract between men and women in marriage.
Today's feminist perverts want to change this and give all rights to women and all obligations to men but they will not succeed, at least in Russia.

[3as7.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's not feminism, you are talkin about basic human rights. Try to imagine if your wife will do the same thing:
You came back from work, and you have to have sex with her, no matter how tired you are.

She has gained 40 kilograms, stopped taking care of her body, stopped taking shower, constantly argues with you, and demands the D.

She wants to have sex 5 times a day, every day. If you won't do it - she talks about the divorce.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

This all is a matter of negotiations between the two.
But those negotiations should establish the frame for a longer time.

If, at any particular moment, "No means no", it would ruin the marriage.
It just does not fit in my mind how a wife can file "rape" against her husband.
Or children report their parents. Or something like that. Very horrible American thing.

This is the point where _almost all_ Russians unite.

[3as7.livejournal.com]

Don't generalize, please. Since I also carry the Russian culture; however, I prefer to respect my partners and be treated with respect in return.

[den-dark.livejournal.com]

If you take woman by force it is rape and you are rapist. And it doesn't matter if that woman is your wife or not. Than she became your wife - she didn't reject her basic human rights. By your logic - if you can rape your wife, why you don't beat her, or kill her?
If you did something to her - she can and must report against you because next time you can do worse. Actually if you read about that question you will see - beatings always became more severe and often it all end with death. Sometimes victim in despair kills herself, or kills husband.