Секс в США - Harassment in the American Workplace

[peacetraveler22]

About five years ago, a hot Ukrainian lifeguard started working at my apartment pool. I was in my mid-30's at the time, and he was only 18. Yet one day he swam up to me, flashed his charming smile, and we chatted for a very long time. I think he had absolutely no clue how old I was, but it didn't really matter. We instantly had great and deep conversations, about a wide range of topics, and remain close friends to this day.

I remember vividly something he told me about his lifeguard training before he arrived to the USA to participate in the work/travel program. The instructors informed the male lifeguards that American women are different, that sexual harassment laws in the U.S. are strict, and that a man can easily be convicted for flirtatious advances that would be considered ordinary and acceptable in other cultures. I don't know where all this paranoia comes from, but I want to explain briefly how sexual harassment laws work in America. Because the instructors were totally wrong. The most important lesson for the day - don't be afraid to talk to an American woman, compliment her, flirt with her, or ask her out....trust me, you will not be jailed for such actions. :))

First, sexual harassment laws mostly protect women and men in the workplace, not every day life situations. There are both Federal and State laws. In general, there are two types of sexual harassment actionable under U.S. law: (1) "quid pro quo" - this is an offer from a supervisor to receive a promotion, higher salary, or career advancement in exchange for sexual favors, or a threat of demotion if the subordinate refuses his advances; (2) "hostile work environment" - this is the more popular ground for a sexual harassment lawsuit. Women sometimes complain their work environment is "hostile" because the boss is a goat, jerk, looks at her in a sexual way, etc.

However, mere allegations of this type of behavior will never be enough to prevail in a sexual harassment lawsuit in America. The standard of proof for the Plaintiff is very, very high, and evidence must be documented and ongoing. In other words, the behavior must usually be repetitive to win a sexual harassment lawsuit. Victims need to have written documentation, witnesses, and sometimes even psychological reports to verify the impact the harassment has had on them. Without this, it's unlikely any judge or jury will find the person's work environment to be "hostile." Of course, strange cases always slip through the cracks and judges and juries sometimes get it wrong.

"Quid pro quo" is much easier to prove if there is written documentation. Obviously, if your boss is stupid enough to send an email or leave a voice mail message saying something like "fuck me, and you'll get the promotion..." he is pretty much screwed. And not in the way he wishes. :)

The public misunderstands the high burden on a person to prove sexual harassment. It takes a lot to convince a judge or jury that an employer's conduct transcended ordinary office nastiness or flirtation into illegal harassment. The Supreme Court once held that these laws are not a "general civility code for the American workplace." They are meant to protect people from flagrant and obvious violations by superiors.

Before I became a lawyer, I worked at a big law firm as a receptionist. How many jerks did I have to deal with? A lot. Numerous businessmen would come to the front desk to check in for meetings, comment on me and my co-workers physical appearance, even say things like "nice tits", etc. Did I drag each of them into court? No. :) Mostly because I don't care if men make these remarks in passing. I simply ignore them, but if they continued for a long period of time, or the men routinely touched me in an inappropriate manner, I would file a complaint with my employer. I assume it's the same in Russia? I doubt it's acceptable for a boss to be touching a woman's ass, stroking her hair or making suggestive comments in the workplace. And the same for a female boss behaving sexually toward a male subordinate.

A reader recently sent me a story about a Russian born scientist who came to work at an American university. He met a young, beautiful subordinate and instantly fell in love with her. He asked her out several times, and she refused. In total, he made four verbal attempts to date her. After this rejection, the scientist wrote the young beauty a letter, documenting his intense feelings and begging again for a relationship with her. The letter was the last straw - she went to the university Chancellor and complained of sexual harassment. She indicated she was nervous and uncomfortable around the scientist after she refused his advances. In an article about this case, the author portrayed this woman as a "bitch," claiming she was only trying to get money from the university, and that the scientist was totally "innocent" in his actions. What do you think? Is the scientist's behavior sexual harassment?



In the U.S., many sexual harassment cases are brought and immediately thrown out of court. It's a pity that people abuse the laws, causing a lot of burden, wasted resources and money for employers, who are obligated to investigate the seriousness of such claims.

In real life dating and gender relations, these claims aren't relevant. You can't take a man to court for flirting with you, asking you out, staring at your boobs or ass, or even making inappropriate remarks. If someone grabs you, or touches you, I guess you could file a claim for assault or battery and maybe prevail. This doesn't mean an American woman won't smack you or yell at you for such actions. :) Over the years, many States have also enacted "stalker" laws to protect women and men from extreme cases of unwanted pursuit.

How does it work in Russia? Are there laws to protect against sexual harassment? Have you had any experience with naughty bosses or professors?

Comments

[amandakysses.livejournal.com]

Geez... people speak so harshly to you here.. I imagine it's difficult everywhere to prove sexual harrassment. I mean no means no, but I think sometimes people send mixed signals until it gets to the point of uncomfortable. Where does flirting end and harrassment begin, I assume the lines are blurry. When I was working in NYC, the company was so twisted, everybody sleeping with everybody. My CFO was sleeping with his assistant. But it was mutual. I was assistant to the director of operations. We flirted a lot. We would drink too much at company functions. He would pay for my cab rides, we would share cabs, etc.. long story short, i ended up performing oral sex on him a few times. But again, it was mutual. He didnt hold anything over my head. Though, i did get a raise and he and the cfo offered me lots of money to stay when i was planning on moving back to va. But i happened to be an amazingly hard worker and great at my job. Get it, my job? Haha just kidding. Anyway, I think unless there is a genuine attraction, it's mostly about power, like any sexual assault. At least people think you have a nice rack. (I hate the t word) My cleavage has helped me in many situations. Boobs are very helpful.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I don't show my boobs, so they rarely help me. :) About aggressive people here, I'm used to it. This is the usual mode of communication for many Russians. If work sex is mutual, there are no grounds for sexual harassment. Consenting adults are free to do what they want, with their mouths, genitals or other body parts. :))

[kremlin-curant.livejournal.com]

Never after Enron's sad story heard about American company where the bosses drinking and/or fucking with their employees except this is striptease club or escort service or something like this. Or maybe in some illegal underground jobs.

Вопрос про счастье

[andrey-kaminsky.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted to ask some famous actor, Sean Pen for example: "You're probably familiar to some talented actors who were more talented than you but did not reach the success that you have achieved. What is in you and what wasn't in them that made you successful? " There is a similar situation. Usually, sexual relations at work lead to disappointment, but not in your case. What character traits do you possess that help you avoid disappointment and be positive?
I realize that i'm not an old friend and have no right to ask personal, i beg your pardon for the lack of tact, but i am very curious:)

Re: Вопрос про счастье

[amandakysses.livejournal.com]

I like the subject of your comment. Question about Happiness. It sounds so sweet and hopeful! I love Sean Penn! I think he's one of my favorite actors. I'm not sure if you're asking me or Shannon your question, hehe... But, if it's for me, I'm just a positive happy person. I love people and try to always see the best in them and in every situation. Also, I don't like to ruffle any feathers, I try to keep the peace and keep everyone happy :)

Re: Вопрос про счастье

[andrey-kaminsky.livejournal.com]

Thank U. I was thinking about your answer. In fact, you're talking about kindness. But if kindness was enough to arrange own affairs then Jesus would have had a happier life :) You're more talented about something than he was. People who are satisfied with their life do not tend to engage in self-analysis, for this reason, my question is very difficult :)

Re: Вопрос про счастье

[amandakysses.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I try to be kind. I find most people are generally good and kind. Hehe.. more talented than Jesus. No sir. It is a tough question though. Im satisfied with life and generally happy. But of course, I think people have many aspects to their personalities. Lots of layers.