Секс в США - Harassment in the American Workplace

[peacetraveler22]

About five years ago, a hot Ukrainian lifeguard started working at my apartment pool. I was in my mid-30's at the time, and he was only 18. Yet one day he swam up to me, flashed his charming smile, and we chatted for a very long time. I think he had absolutely no clue how old I was, but it didn't really matter. We instantly had great and deep conversations, about a wide range of topics, and remain close friends to this day.

I remember vividly something he told me about his lifeguard training before he arrived to the USA to participate in the work/travel program. The instructors informed the male lifeguards that American women are different, that sexual harassment laws in the U.S. are strict, and that a man can easily be convicted for flirtatious advances that would be considered ordinary and acceptable in other cultures. I don't know where all this paranoia comes from, but I want to explain briefly how sexual harassment laws work in America. Because the instructors were totally wrong. The most important lesson for the day - don't be afraid to talk to an American woman, compliment her, flirt with her, or ask her out....trust me, you will not be jailed for such actions. :))

First, sexual harassment laws mostly protect women and men in the workplace, not every day life situations. There are both Federal and State laws. In general, there are two types of sexual harassment actionable under U.S. law: (1) "quid pro quo" - this is an offer from a supervisor to receive a promotion, higher salary, or career advancement in exchange for sexual favors, or a threat of demotion if the subordinate refuses his advances; (2) "hostile work environment" - this is the more popular ground for a sexual harassment lawsuit. Women sometimes complain their work environment is "hostile" because the boss is a goat, jerk, looks at her in a sexual way, etc.

However, mere allegations of this type of behavior will never be enough to prevail in a sexual harassment lawsuit in America. The standard of proof for the Plaintiff is very, very high, and evidence must be documented and ongoing. In other words, the behavior must usually be repetitive to win a sexual harassment lawsuit. Victims need to have written documentation, witnesses, and sometimes even psychological reports to verify the impact the harassment has had on them. Without this, it's unlikely any judge or jury will find the person's work environment to be "hostile." Of course, strange cases always slip through the cracks and judges and juries sometimes get it wrong.

"Quid pro quo" is much easier to prove if there is written documentation. Obviously, if your boss is stupid enough to send an email or leave a voice mail message saying something like "fuck me, and you'll get the promotion..." he is pretty much screwed. And not in the way he wishes. :)

The public misunderstands the high burden on a person to prove sexual harassment. It takes a lot to convince a judge or jury that an employer's conduct transcended ordinary office nastiness or flirtation into illegal harassment. The Supreme Court once held that these laws are not a "general civility code for the American workplace." They are meant to protect people from flagrant and obvious violations by superiors.

Before I became a lawyer, I worked at a big law firm as a receptionist. How many jerks did I have to deal with? A lot. Numerous businessmen would come to the front desk to check in for meetings, comment on me and my co-workers physical appearance, even say things like "nice tits", etc. Did I drag each of them into court? No. :) Mostly because I don't care if men make these remarks in passing. I simply ignore them, but if they continued for a long period of time, or the men routinely touched me in an inappropriate manner, I would file a complaint with my employer. I assume it's the same in Russia? I doubt it's acceptable for a boss to be touching a woman's ass, stroking her hair or making suggestive comments in the workplace. And the same for a female boss behaving sexually toward a male subordinate.

A reader recently sent me a story about a Russian born scientist who came to work at an American university. He met a young, beautiful subordinate and instantly fell in love with her. He asked her out several times, and she refused. In total, he made four verbal attempts to date her. After this rejection, the scientist wrote the young beauty a letter, documenting his intense feelings and begging again for a relationship with her. The letter was the last straw - she went to the university Chancellor and complained of sexual harassment. She indicated she was nervous and uncomfortable around the scientist after she refused his advances. In an article about this case, the author portrayed this woman as a "bitch," claiming she was only trying to get money from the university, and that the scientist was totally "innocent" in his actions. What do you think? Is the scientist's behavior sexual harassment?



In the U.S., many sexual harassment cases are brought and immediately thrown out of court. It's a pity that people abuse the laws, causing a lot of burden, wasted resources and money for employers, who are obligated to investigate the seriousness of such claims.

In real life dating and gender relations, these claims aren't relevant. You can't take a man to court for flirting with you, asking you out, staring at your boobs or ass, or even making inappropriate remarks. If someone grabs you, or touches you, I guess you could file a claim for assault or battery and maybe prevail. This doesn't mean an American woman won't smack you or yell at you for such actions. :) Over the years, many States have also enacted "stalker" laws to protect women and men from extreme cases of unwanted pursuit.

How does it work in Russia? Are there laws to protect against sexual harassment? Have you had any experience with naughty bosses or professors?

Comments

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

It's bad to date a work colleague! Everything can turn horrible when you break up. I know, it happened to me. Of course, your behavior was unacceptable. Bad boy. :) I don't consider American females to be so "pure." How is stepping on a woman's foot sexual harassment? This is an erogenous zone I don't know about? :)

[mjol1nir.livejournal.com]

It's a bad, I agree, but sometimes it' hard to resist the temptation. If you are alone, there are many attractive people around, you spend much time with them and so on.
Now me and that girl are working for different companies, she is married, we are "friends" in a social network and have good relationship. But that time everything was not so perfect, you're right.

Perhaps an American woman has an erogenous zone on her foot, but it excites not a women but police and court. =)
Storyteller thought so, I'm sure.
Many strange and bizarre tales about USA walk in Russia.
Have you seen video about life in United States made in North Korea? It' very funny. =)
Here is not so awful but direction is the same.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course work is the easiest place to meet people. That's why I've been single so long. :) Because I'm not attracted to "lawyer type" personalities or businessmen, which are the type of males I'm constantly surrounded by. I like creative, artsy, adventurous males. There aren't too many of them walking around in law firms. And I'm rarely social, so I don't meet men in other environments.

I've seen the North Korean video about American life....however, sadly I think Russian propaganda about America isn't too far behind. At least, based on what I see on sites like RT, where every other story is something horrible about America or Europe. :(

[vasionok.livejournal.com]

American propaganda about Russia is not far behind either!

[mjol1nir.livejournal.com]

Даже близко не стояла.
По крайней мере вас, одиннадцатирублёвых, сосущих бюджет там совершенно точно нет.

[vasionok.livejournal.com]

У вас параноя, пациент?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

What propaganda? I'm constantly watching CNN, FOX News, etc. and Russia is never discussed. It has re-appeared in the news the past few days with the escalation of the war in Ukraine and strong likelihood the U.S. will supply the Ukrainian army with equipment, but only for one or two minute news segments. Meanwhile, I suggest you follow RT's page on Facebook, where there is almost ZERO news about Russia, and constant propaganda about how horrible it is to live in America and Europe. With brainwashed people blaming, "Jews, Israel and America" for every problem in the world.

[vasionok.livejournal.com]

You did mention yourself that Sochi were unfairly covered - but everything they cover is unfairly covered. I read BBC and Guardian all the time; can't tolerate CNN - it is too toxic. All their news about Russia, when they have some, are negative: Russians are always in trouble, Russia is a threat, Putin is a dictator, if Russians do support his policies, it is only because they are brainwashed, etc. Even their jokes about Russia are disgusting (Colbert and Jon Stewart are a bit more moderate). Through the lens of the western media Russia looks like a terrible country, not much different from North Korea. Really, RT is the same as CNN, except the sides are switched.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I don't agree they are the same. Because I never once hear Putin or his policies criticized on RT. And in the American press, Obama is constantly beaten up and put under the microscope (on both CNN and FOX New). By reporters, and also by members of Congress who are being interviewed on these channels. But, you're right, Russia is 100% portrayed as the aggressor in Ukraine, and Putin as a dictator in American media. I don't dispute these facts.

[vasionok.livejournal.com]

And I never once heard a criticism of the pro-LGBT policies in the western media. Is it different?

I agree that criticism of Putin is lacking. But I’d like to defend the status quo - because I don’t see where to get the civilized criticism today. You see what the bloggers are - harsh, biting, not constructive. Russian opposition is not better, they don’t want a dialogue, they want a revolution. Who will criticize then? I wish there were more people like zyalt (the blogger), who can criticize Moscow’s Mayor without hating Moscow’s Mayor, but it is still rare.

[mjol1nir.livejournal.com]

You are peace traveler. Your environment is the whole world! I venture to guess there are especially a lot of males of your favorite type among travelers. ;)

[alexvolodimer.livejournal.com]

At least 3rd smile on your comments, thank you :)

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

It's necessary to have a good sense of humor when you're an American woman writing in RuNet. :))

[alexvolodimer.livejournal.com]

Definitely, and to be a bit crazy :)