Confused, Naive American - Explain Chechen Wedding Scandal!

[peacetraveler22]

We all recognize that there are eccentric and deranged people in all parts of the globe, engaged in questionable behavior which we'll never understand or condone. I once thought of visiting Grozny, so perhaps some of you would even place me in one, or both, of these categories. Remember a few years ago, I wrote this post, asking readers whether it's safe for an American woman to travel to Chechnya? Some of my friends in the Russian blogosphere have been there, and even personally met Kadyrov and told me it was safe. All of them - MEN. You can call me a naive or misinformed American, but I can't understand yesterday's events.

I read the scandalous news that Kadyrov granted special permission for an old Police Chief to marry a 17 year old bride! I will not place a photo of the sad, distraught young woman in my blog to further sensationalize her image. On her wedding day, her eyes completely devoid of joy, as if going to a funeral or gas chamber. You've already seen her expressions, her white dress, and the bejeweled head covering, all draped around the delicate frame of a young woman who likely had no say in the events of that day, or in picking her groom. What a sad existence, I'm sorry I can't imagine it, or respect any region where such actions are considered acceptable, and personally authorized by the leader!! I read a lot of stories and comments about this topic today, and I'm particularly disgusted by the post written by Ilya Varlamov, LJ's top Russian blogger, where he can't understand all the fuss or controversy over the wedding.  How can a modern, intelligent man like him not question this event, particularly when he has a young daughter of his own?

Here in the U.S., we have various religious sects engaged in polygamy, many marrying very young brides. The distinction is that our leaders don't advocate or approve of such behavior, nor does most of American society. On some other news sites, I read comments by a few Chechen females stating that the bride's facial expression was normal, that Muslim women don't show overt expression, even during a wedding. According to them, such action would be considered immodest in strict Muslim families.

What do you think of this scandal? Please help me understand "real" Chechen culture and mentality better, not what well-known bloggers show on their hand held tours, organized by Chechen officials. Yes, I know about the Chechen wars and that it's a Muslim region in the North Caucasus, yet it's still part of Russia. I'm especially interested to hear from any female readers I might have living in this area. Help me restore my faith in this region..

Comments

[juan-gandhi.livejournal.com]

This freedom of marriage is selective. The guys gets his permission from his boss. Nobody asks the bride, of course, but this happens everywhere. Except that in this case there's no way any law enforcement will enforce any law there, except sharia law or special exceptions for Kadyrov and his buddies.

I would not ascribe all this to the peculiarities of Chechen culture. Maybe it is there, maybe not. This case is not about Chechen culture. In Ukraine, for instance, a woman can marry at 16, with court permission.

[rankin-almst500.livejournal.com]

))... I've tried to tell you - do not be a witless american... and don't ask witless russian women about her love for her counrty...)

it's a governmental rape of a school girl .... - you will never understand that...

that's how I lived in Russia for 31 years.... until I've left.... I don't know how else to explain it to you... well, I know, because I am 54 years old... but you will not listen...((

[genka8.livejournal.com]

Without addressing you question, I'd like to mention that Varlamov's "not understanding" is a flamebait in a bid to get more comments. As a top blogger you should know this trick :)

[leo-sosnine.livejournal.com]

No surprise here. Varlamov is paid by Kremlin.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Even in the USA, teenagers can marry as young as 16 with permission from their parents. However, in this case, it's quite apparent that this is a forced marriage, nothing evolving out of romance or pure love. For this reason, it's disgusting and a form of sexual slavery.

[stan podolski (from livejournal.com)]

Друзьям - все, врагам - закон, хехе

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I think there are a lot of "witless Russians" also, because they can't understand this situation either, based on comments in many blogs. The best post and reasoning about this is here http://politichanka.livejournal.com/346551.html. I don't always agree with her political point of views, but on this subject I subscribe to every word she wrote in that post. Can you imagine Obama granting special permission for some Senator to marry a girl who just turned 17? It would never happen in this country. Thank God women have achieved a higher level of respect and value in our society.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I'm not a "top blogger", and never will be! To reach the top now on LJ, you must be involved in yellow journalism, scandals, and politics. I will not sink that low for the sake of fame. :))

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I doubt the Kremlin agrees with Kadyrov's decision to grant permission for this marriage. Based on some of Varlamov's other posts about women and their roles in relationships/society, I question whether he views females as anything other than sexual objects, or maids to cook dinner each night, pop out babies and clean the house...

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

This story made me very sad today. :( Do you have a teenage daughter? Wish to hand her off to a grandpa for sexual satisfaction?

[leo-sosnine.livejournal.com]

Is there any evidence to support your doubts? I've read some Moscow politicians supporting this 'marriage'. And I don't think that anything really can be based on his posts because he's a prostitute himself and retranslates Kremlin's opinions on important questions. And it's hard to blame him, if he doesn't agree with those undeniable proposals he can easily end up in a russian jail or even worse. You don't argue with Kadyrov unless you are untouchable.

[stan podolski (from livejournal.com)]

r u kidding me? I dont want to live in a barbarian country

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Wise man! Now it will be interesting, from a political standpoint, to see if Kadyrov addresses this matter further in the media, or simply ignores it moving forward. You know he's an attention whore - I follow his accounts on Instagram and Twitter.

[stan podolski (from livejournal.com)]

come on! nobody cares inside about it And about the fuss outside - Kadyrov and the rest would not give a damn

* what i said in the beginning

Friends will get everything, enemies will get Law

[tyrrel-hanna.livejournal.com]

Spousal rape is not a crime in Russia. This is all you have to know about this black hole.

[mila-xm.livejournal.com]

Varlamov understands everything. But why he chose to write about it from position of innocent baby, who knows nothing about the world, it is another question. As for faith into this religion, it is enough to see photos of women, disfigured by acid and fire, without noses, read about 6 y.o. girls who die in their 1st wedding nights from blood loss, while mullahs approve it or even take part in these crimes, what can be said? Only thanks, that we were not born in certain regions of the planet.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the translation at the end, because google translate didn't construct the sentence properly. Your statement is true, even to some extent in the U.S., but not in a situation like this. I can't imagine our top leader authorizing polygamy for one of his Senate pals, there are limitations to this "friends get everything" phrase, at least in civilized places.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Seriously? :( I had no idea. This is shameful.

[tyrrel-hanna.livejournal.com]

The traditions is Russia are superior to the human rights.

[tyrrel-hanna.livejournal.com]

Anyway, don't be fooled by Constitutions and other written laws in that country. It is only for the show.

[fedli.livejournal.com]

Каждому свое...Вы едите собачий язык,мы -щи,чечены-шашлык...И живём мы далеко друг от друга...

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

This wedding proves your statement.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Are you implying that spousal rape is a "tradition" in Russia?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, "to each his own", but forced marriage should not be considered acceptable in any society. It's a form of sex slavery, esp. when children are involved. If you have a daughter, I doubt you would be pleased to hand her off to an old man to live in subservience for eternity.

[stan podolski (from livejournal.com)]

--- there are limitations to this "friends get everything" phrase, at least in civilized places.

Chechnya never was one. Maybe in another thousand years