Russian parents - unique challenges

[peacetraveler22]

While editing photos from the last winter journey, I was reminded of a scene that plays out all over Russia in the brutal winter months. It doesn't matter where this photo was taken, because it's symbolic of almost every city I've driven through during all my visits to the country. Usually it's mothers struggling to push a stroller on unclear roads or sidewalks covered in snow, ice, and most often a combination of both. Or, they labor to carry a heavy stroller and child up or down steps in metro stations. I began to wonder whether the country in which you live matters when it comes to raising children?

I think so, for conditions everywhere aren't the same, though the motivation of any good parent around the globe is the well-being and development of their child. In the U.S., I rarely see situations like this and there are several reasons why. First, we're a lazy society, and elevators or escalators exist in almost all major shopping centers or transport hubs. Second, most people have cars, and aren't struggling to walk everywhere in bad weather conditions for basic chores or necessities in life. Outside of big cities, parking is rarely an issue, and even in big cities there are plenty of garages but you will pay a lot to park in them in places like Washington, DC (around $25/day), and in New York City the cost is even more astronomical. Finally, we're a heavily regulated society, with a lot of laws on both the Federal and State level.

What is the result of all these laws? There are personal burdens you must bear, or face some kind of consequence. In the U.S., store owners, and even home owners in certain residential areas, are required to clear sidewalks and pathways, otherwise they face fines. Similarly, local officials are under pressure from their constituents to have safe road conditions and timely plowing in the event of major storms. If they fuck up, they will be held accountable in most cases and face public outrage, or the loss of their position in the next election cycle. Yes, many Americans are whiners, and don't wish to struggle so much in daily life. First World problems, but also First World benefits because leaders are required to act, not merely exist and sit on their thrones. I already showed you how my sister's suburban neighborhood responded after a blizzard a few months ago. The post is here. We also frequently close major highways and roads when they become extremely hazardous due to ice or snow to prevent accidents and deaths.



I look at this photo and immediately panic due to the unsafe conditions. Imagine if the driver was irresponsible or drunk, coming up this hill at a high speed? The mother and her child are right in the pathway of danger. So, in my view, there are unique challenges to parenting in Russia, and all countries. For those in the U.S., you can share the frustrating challenges of raising children here.

The best parents are selfless, and play one of the most vital roles by raising intelligent, healthy and well-rounded humans who will contribute something positive to the world in the future. I've never once felt an obligation or desire to have this responsibility, and the reasons why are well-known to readers and documented here.

What do you think is the most challenging aspect of parenting?

P.S.: Yes, I know there are many wonderful and rewarding aspects of having children, but this post is about the challenges. Similarly, there are lots of pros to living child free. A personal decision, as all things in life.

Comments

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Goonies is a classic. :)) Watched it so many times. If you get only 5 days of vacation a year, you should search for a new job, as this is not customary. However, we still don't compare to Russia - where the entire country sits off for weeks at the end of the year and during May holidays, etc. :)) Personally, I have no limit on vacation time.

[irisha8787.livejournal.com]

A lot of companies have a policy, of 5 paid vacation days off per year once you start and then you get some hours added every paycheck.

Right now I am at about 9 or something, but I never take more than 2 days off at a time.

Do you have unlimited paid vacation time? I have never heard of this in the US!

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, all that matters in big law firms is that you bill a certain number of hours to clients per year. :) As long as you hit the target number, or somewhere close to it, it doesn't matter from where you work or when. So, it's a flexible job in that regard. No set schedule in most cases.

[irisha8787.livejournal.com]

Well, I work from home, so get that flexibility, but regardless where I am I still have to work :)

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

A always wonder how this hours are counted.
Hours spent does not mean the result is achieved.

I had an interview once in an IT company which has the same system (pretty unusual, at least here in Russia).

I did not accept their offer because I worried about 2 things:

1. How productivity can be measured.
2. If productivity really CAN be measured this means that I will do the same standard work again and again (because only standard and repeated work can really be measured).

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Yes, sometimes the result is not achieved, but this doesn't mean that a lot of brain power, effort and time were'nt put into the case. I hate the billable hours system, and am a very bad player at the game. However, this is the way almost all big law firms operate, and corporations are willing to pay. Basically, the system rewards inefficiency. For instance, young attorneys who are green and not yet skilled take three times longer to do something than me, yet have much higher billable hours at the end of the year. Thus, they are the ones who get bonuses. Personally, I never meet the requirement, even on my reduced schedule, because I'm honest and don't screw clients over. Plus, I'm fairly good at writing and it doesn't take so much time to formulate complex arguments or legal briefs. My lesser billable hours aren't really an issue and the firm keeps me because (1) I'm a good attorney, with a strong knowledge base in niche area of law; (2) clients love me, as I've been working with the same ones for almost 15 years now; and (3) I'm good at business meetings/business development because I can talk to anyone, have boobs, and am not a pretentious bitch. :)

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

Do it longer :))
Or you want to have more free time?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Why should I do it longer? I want to escape as soon as possible. :)) It should be obvious to you since you've read me for so many years that this desk job/corporate culture doesn't really aligned with my life goals or personality. Until my doctorate loans are paid off, there is no choice but to stay.

[qi-tronic.livejournal.com]

I still don't understand your goals :))
To travel is not a goal it's a process, a way to spend time.
A good formulated goal, according to a technique I learned at NLP many years ago is when you can imagine how it will look like when you reach it.

This is why abstract things like love, happiness, fame don't count as good goals.
Where should be a kind of detailed image.
Having abstractions as goal you'll never be able to say - I've done it.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

My goal is to work for a humanitarian agency, on overseas assignments. Something like Peace Corps, or various ESL programs. It's a way to combine my passions for travel, exploration and helping others, and still get paid at the same time. :) And this is not some dreamy, abstract concept. I've accomplished something similar in my charitable legal work with immigrants. The end result is visible - to change someone's life in a profound way. The goal is realized, or you can say, "I've done it", when you've altered the course of their life in a concrete way (e.g. helping them escape torture in their home country, or something as simple as having clean water to drink).