Confused, Naive American - Explain Chechen Wedding Scandal!

[peacetraveler22]

We all recognize that there are eccentric and deranged people in all parts of the globe, engaged in questionable behavior which we'll never understand or condone. I once thought of visiting Grozny, so perhaps some of you would even place me in one, or both, of these categories. Remember a few years ago, I wrote this post, asking readers whether it's safe for an American woman to travel to Chechnya? Some of my friends in the Russian blogosphere have been there, and even personally met Kadyrov and told me it was safe. All of them - MEN. You can call me a naive or misinformed American, but I can't understand yesterday's events.

I read the scandalous news that Kadyrov granted special permission for an old Police Chief to marry a 17 year old bride! I will not place a photo of the sad, distraught young woman in my blog to further sensationalize her image. On her wedding day, her eyes completely devoid of joy, as if going to a funeral or gas chamber. You've already seen her expressions, her white dress, and the bejeweled head covering, all draped around the delicate frame of a young woman who likely had no say in the events of that day, or in picking her groom. What a sad existence, I'm sorry I can't imagine it, or respect any region where such actions are considered acceptable, and personally authorized by the leader!! I read a lot of stories and comments about this topic today, and I'm particularly disgusted by the post written by Ilya Varlamov, LJ's top Russian blogger, where he can't understand all the fuss or controversy over the wedding.  How can a modern, intelligent man like him not question this event, particularly when he has a young daughter of his own?

Here in the U.S., we have various religious sects engaged in polygamy, many marrying very young brides. The distinction is that our leaders don't advocate or approve of such behavior, nor does most of American society. On some other news sites, I read comments by a few Chechen females stating that the bride's facial expression was normal, that Muslim women don't show overt expression, even during a wedding. According to them, such action would be considered immodest in strict Muslim families.

What do you think of this scandal? Please help me understand "real" Chechen culture and mentality better, not what well-known bloggers show on their hand held tours, organized by Chechen officials. Yes, I know about the Chechen wars and that it's a Muslim region in the North Caucasus, yet it's still part of Russia. I'm especially interested to hear from any female readers I might have living in this area. Help me restore my faith in this region..

Comments

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

They live as they did it for hundreds years. And it is not strange that you are so wonder about their style of life when you are writing about you like a perspective of not having the children at all and about your masturbating on your teachers. I saw the Chechen's students and their criminals in my youth in Student's Hotel, they are very respectful for their parents and the will of their parents is a law for them.
I can say that the Chechens are morals stronger than the Europeans have, with all the nowadays laws of gay marriage legalization, the termination of parental rights, with all the immigration problems, when people in Europe don't know for whom their government are working now. So I don't see much problem in this particular marriage, I see the real problem in the increasing of number of early abortions in Russia.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Hello, nice to see you here again. :) Read my blog often? If so, you'll know that my parents and family are the most important thing in life to me. I also respect my mother and father, but "the will of my parents" doesn't control me. I'm an individual person, with my own thoughts, ambitions and desires in life. Not a piece of property to be sold or handed off to someone else for sex or some sort of financial gain. Gays have nothing to do with this scenario, nor does the fact that I don't have children. I'm looking at this situation only from a human perspective, and as a woman. What if a Chechen dad told his young son to strap on a bomb and carry it to Moscow? Would you also say this is okay because it's "the will of the parent?" I highly doubt it. And what do you have against female masturbation? :) It's very healthy and natural.

[a-nimaida.livejournal.com]

Shannon, what for you, of course, is not natural for the Chechens.
In masturbation there is nothing wrong. But it's your own business, and your readers is not interested. There are special forums, porn sites, where you can put the video.

The girl was sorry. As with all Asian woman has no right to choose her husband. Millions of women. The bombing of these countries to impose democracy, the problem will not solve.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Video? :) Where did I say anything about a video? I would never post something like that on the Internet. I don't even show cleavage here in my blog. I'm modest. :) In that post I was speaking about fantasies, and I'm holding a book in the picture to cover any hint of my cleavage. Also, I didn't go into details about my masturbation techniques. The post was about psychology and sexual/mental fantasies. That's it, nothing more. And, yes, the situation with this young girl is tragic. It made me very sad yesterday. :((( We're lucky that we don't live in such places, where women are treated like property, not humans.

[a-nimaida.livejournal.com]

I wrote that you upload videos?
you always did not read. ((
I wrote that there is a special sexually explicit sites, forums where you can talk and share video. In your blog, no one is interested to read on someone you masturbate. If you're not looking for sexual contact.

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

"Hello, nice to see you here again. :) Read my blog often?"

Hello! I am reading your blog as often as I can. I like the honesty you reveal in your posts. My wife decided to study English thanks to your posts.

"If so, you'll know that my parents and family are the most important thing in life to me. I also respect my mother and father, but "the will of my parents" doesn't control me. I'm an individual person, with my own thoughts, ambitions and desires in life. Not a piece of property to be sold or handed off to someone else for sex or some sort of financial gain. Gays have nothing to do with this scenario, nor does the fact that I don't have children. I'm looking at this situation only from a human perspective, and as a woman. What if a Chechen dad told his young son to strap on a bomb and carry it to Moscow? Would you also say this is okay because it's "the will of the parent?" I highly doubt it. "

What I tried to tell is that there is an abyss between the European and Muslim culture and traditions. I was always really interested in your point of view on the different controversial subjects between Russians and Americans. I wrote you about what I think, and it is my point of view. I am not telling that it is ultimate true cause I don't believe there is such thing. But this doesn't mean that I have to change my point of view if I don't like it. And it is not a surprise that you are not accepting the tradition of the Muslims, it is rather predictable. But it is doesn't mean that they are wrong or something like that. It's just that people are different.

"And what do you have against female masturbation? :) It's very healthy and natural."

I was not telling that I am against it. I was telling that what you wrote about yourself, can cause somebody somewhere to vomit. But it doesn't matter that you are doing something wrong, if you are not in a conflict with yourself and with the law of your country.

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

How can someone vomit based on what I wrote about myself? If they are not interested in sexual psychology or fantasy, no one forces them to click on the link and read my story. Free will, a beautiful concept! :)) It's great your wife decided to study English! If she has questions, she can write me; however, you are writing in almost perfect English all the time, so you will be a good resource for her during her studies. I'm always interested to hear your opinion on topics, even though we usually disagree. :)

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

"It's great your wife decided to study English! If she has questions, she can write me;"

My wife is very thankful for you. It is her first writings ( :
I am very grateful that you are willing to answer me.
It's so nice that such a busy person have enough time to answer to everyone, even to people who start to learn English.
After all, You sometimes will find it difficult to understand me.
Thank You very much!

[sergsuper.livejournal.com]

не, ну так можно и рабство оправдать - тысячелетиями оно было и рабы все совокуплялись по разрешению, никакого разврата

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

Я не оправдываю законы Мусульман, я говорю что в данном конкретно случае, мне более импонирует их консерватизм нежели чем Европейская разнузданность. По поводу рабства, оно и присутствует в завуалированной форме во всех богатых странах. Что меня больше всего удивляет, это когда про западные либералы ругают Россию по поводу и без повода, но в не замечают никаких проблем в Саудовской Аравии, союзника США, где на бензоколонке за гадание отрубают гостю страны прилюдно голову, и записывают это на видео. Вот здесь всех всё устраивает...

[buddhistmind.livejournal.com]

By the way, what's wrong with masturbation on your teachers (or anybody else) man?

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

I asked the same question! But, there's an important error in his use of English. In that post, I didn't say I masturbated "ON" the teacher, but rather "TO". In other words, this was a mental fantasy, not an actual sexual encounter. Usually, I'm not a grammar Nazi in this blog, but in this case, it dramatically alters the meaning of the sentence. And, in the past, I've certainly even masturbated with partners. Who cares? I think that person has a very, very traditional view of women. Good for him. I hope he found a nice young woman to breed a lot of babies for him. There are still plenty of females, even in the U.S., whose main goal in life are marriage and babies. But it is not me.

[buddhistmind.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're right, "to" is more correct, though in informal colloquial language the preposition "on" also seems to be used - see, for instance, this:

books. google. ru/books?id=_OALC1AdclIC&pg=PA39&dq=%22masturbate+on%22&hl=ru&sa=X&ei=k_dYVcKSJIWCzAOIvYH4Bg&ved=0CEIQ6AEwBTgK#v=onepage&q=%22masturbate%20on%22&f=false

Regarding the subject : of course, masturbation is a natural and healthy thing to do, and those who think otherwise are just stupid or have been heavily indoctrinated ...

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

I am not telling that it is bad I'm not a prude, no judge for everybody, but for Muslims which are the focus of a critique in this post, it is a shame and dishonor. I am telling that it is not possible to measure everything around on our mother Earth with our own ruler...

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Forced marriage and sexual slavery should never be accepted, by the measure of any ruler.

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

Why are you so sure it is forced marriage, was you speaking to this girl?
When in EU officials take children from their parents on trumped up charges and there is perspective that these children will be adopted by the gays - I can say that it should never be accepted...

[peacetraveler22.livejournal.com]

Why do you care if a child is raised by a same sex couple, if they provide a loving, caring and stable environment for the child to grow up in? You would rather them be raised by delinquent, heterosexual parents?

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

There were the cases in EU, when it was not obvious that parents was a delinquent in some way and a lot of cases in USA, when they were and nobody gave a damn. But my point was not in something special I don't like in West people or Muslims right now. Although it is always good to discuss everything. What is strange that Americans are decoupling of wars around the world and are to blame in so many criminals acts and meaningless deaths, think there are only have right to dictate how people should live, what they should believe in, and the main focus for their attempts is the past Soviet Union's countries. They don't see no problems in their allies countries like Saudi Arabia. Look there, don't it easy to find something strange about marriage or their view on law? :)

[buddhistmind.livejournal.com]

Most of Russian population live below the poverty line. There is more than 500 000 orphans in Russia (in America and Western Europe - none).

What do you say about this? How these people living below the poverty line treat themselves and raise their children psychologically, in terms of personal relationships, co-being and physical health? Are they very happy and proud? They are, I'm sure.

Why aren't you elaborating at length how to fight this monstrous poverty of most Russians and point the finger on Europe or America instead? You don't understand that this monstrous poverty is all you should constantly think about?

[buddhistmind.livejournal.com]

Man, I heard that Muslims of Dagestan, Chechnya etc. think that it is ok to have sex with girls before a marriage - but only the anal type of sex - in order not to deprive a girl of her virginity. And some religious leaders even approve of this.

And I know for sure they actually do this.

That's much more disgusting than masturbating on/to (i.e. having a conjured image of someone during the process) anyone or anything.

[maadmike.livejournal.com]

It is not for me you should apply but to a sexologist... men... ;)

[buddhistmind.livejournal.com]

Chechen and Dagestani people you mean, not me.